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by Kat

Okay, I'm undone! I have given into the compulsion to put myself in an X-Men fan-fic! Okay, so it's just my mutant, fictional self--but that still counts.

Where am I? Hmm. This place reminds me of a really lousy sci-fi  movie. Tall, weird (and rather scummy-looking) buildings line rather trashy- looking streets. Looks like something left over from World War III--or an  intense Rogue Vs. Juggernaut battle. Hey, that looked like a flying--car?!?  No, it wasn't exactly a car, but it wasn't a 'plane, either--no wings.  To the north ( I have a compass, okay?!?), there appearsto be some sort of  stadium with a dome. The dome appears to have been trashed by experts.  I'm going to check it out.

Hmm...something small appears to be flying around the dome.  Wait a minute!! Something else just took to the air! Binoculars time!! (As opposed to 'hammer time'?) I'll see what these UFO's are.

Oh-h-hh ma-a-an!! The first "object" is Rogue, of the X-Babies,  who is hauling kid Wolverine around by his ankles. Hmm. He seems to be  enjoying it. The second "object" is L'il Storm--apparently on an intercept  course with Rogue. Stormy seems to be discussing (or is that just cussing?) something with the other two X-Babies (They aren't within hearing range, so I can't hear them). Ho-o-boy! Little Wolverine must have spotted me--he's pointing my way! This would be a good time to leave, but something is  interfering with my ability to teleport! {Namely, the author *guffaw*!}

*Sigh* I'll just have to prepare myself for the zillions of questions, opinions, and crazy comments. They're he-e-ere! And me without a battlesuit.

Hah! Rogue just dropped Wolvie and he landed on little Dazzler!

Dazz wasn't too happy with that!

"Never seen her before." comments minor Havok.

"I don't like the smell o' her!" mumbles Wolvie

"Gee, thanks, Wolvie! I just bathed!" I reply.

"She does not appear to be hostile." whispers kid Colossus.

"She's not; just in a bad mood." says little Psylocke.

I look around everywhere and then turn toward young Psylocke and say, "A lady? Where?!?" (Oh, come on! You didn't think I could pass up an opportunity like THAT--did ya?) A "bad mood" is not accurate. I'm just  slightly aggitated--yeah, that's it! If you knew these twerps, you'd  understand.

"Don't be silly; that's Rogue's job!" 'cracks Dazz.

"Hey, none of THAT, lightengale!" grumbles Rogue.

Whoa! What was THAT?!? Oh. Just Wolvie's grabby little 3-fingered hands at my butt.

"Storm! Would you please DO something about your team pervert here?" I plead while pointing at L'il Wolverine.

"Stick that finger out again--I dare ya!" dares Wolvie.

"Colossus, make sure Wolverine keeps his hands to himself." commands young Storm.

Little Colossus (Ha! There's an oxymoron for ya!) grabs Wolvie and mutters, "You WILL keep your hands to yourself, Tovarisch!"

"You seem to know us, stranger, but we do not know you." Oh. Storm's talkin' to me.

I introduce myself as "Kat" and then ask, "Is this Mojo Square Garden?"

"Yes, it was." replies Stormy.

"Yeah, b'fore the X-Men trashed it!" declares Rogue. (See? I said it looked like it had been trashed by experts--and it HAD!)

"Then they cancelled Mojo!" adds kid Havok. I notice that all the X-Babies grinned briefly as he said that.

"Which, in turn, cancels our contracts. That makes us free agents now." explains young Psylocke.

"Hey, guys! Lookit!! Rita's comin' out!" shrieks L'il Longshot.

I assume he's referring to Ricochet Rita, the "token adult" and stuntwoman extraordinare.

"Aw, spit! Ah don't wanna go inside just yet!" moans Rogue.

A slender, black-haired young woman, dressed in a red jumpsuit, approaches our little (pun intended) 'jam session'.

"HI REEEEEE-TAAA!!" the X-Babies chime (almost) simultaneously.

"Don't 'Hi Reeeeee-taaa' me, guys! What are you kids up to THIS time?"

"No good." replies young Dazzler.

"Yeah. Mayhem as usual." quips kid Rogue.

"I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything!" rambles Wolvie.

"Very funny, kids. How come nobody invited me to the party--and who invited her?" (I think she means me.) I introduce myself again.

Li'l Dazzler barks, "Quit it, Rogue!"

"Don't start with me, firefly! Ah wasn't botherin' you!" snaps Rogue.

"Yes you were!" argues Dazz. "You were making goo-goo eyes at MY sweetie!!"

I just happened to have been watching them at the time and BOTH of 'em were *ahem*, "making goo-goo eyes" at little Longshot.

"Since WHEN was he your sweetie?!? Ah never heard HIM say so!"

*Sigh* It's just like them to "perform" in front of an audience. I'll have to give them one heck of a show...

"Yo, Dazz! Kick your jealousy OUT of overdrive, disarm your photon torpedoes, and cool you jets! Rogue, drop your shields and power down the phazer banks! An' YOU, Longshot, turn off your tractor beams and deactivate your disrupters!"


That was the sound of three li'l jaws dropping to the ground (literally; this IS Mojoworld, remember?).

"I do not believe it! All three of them have been rendered speechless!" declares Stormy.

Psylocke says (via telepathy),"It's about time someone made them suck static!"

"Awlllriiiiiiiight, Kat!!" cheers minor Havok.

"Phoooey! I wanted to see some action!" grumbles Wolvie.

"Behave yourself, Wolvie!" scolds Rita.

After the "terrible trio" pick their jaws up off the ground, Rita sends them inside. Hmm. I coulda sworn I heard little Rogue giggling and mumbling to herself. I think she said, "Power down th' phazer banks? (more giggling) Is Kat a Trekkie or what? Prob'ly an 'or what'." That's TrekkER, not TrekkIE, *&$%@# it!

It might be my imagination, you say?? Of COURSE it was--all of it is.

This is one of my imagination trips (as opposed to an ego trip)! We'd better get back to reality now--wave "Bye!" to Stormy 'n' company!

Visit Kat's website, Kat's Scratching Post

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