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Alternate Realities

Stories by Vicki Lew

"Free for a Second"
written with Caroline Dillon
Tired of the way Marvel is handling things, Vicki Lew takes matters into her own hands, creating an Elseworld where Rogue and Gambit are the same as, yet very different from, the characters we know. Features Rogue as a government-trained assassin and Gambit as--you guessed it -- a thief. (Unfinished; Warning: Some violence/adult situations.)

"I Don't Remember"
Sometime between X-Men 24 & 41. When Gambit loses his memory and falls for another woman, Rogue deals with the situation the only way she knows how. (Unfinished.)

A chance meeting with a lost dog brings Rogue into the home of a happy, very normal family.

"A Place in this World"
Rogue is Sabine, the daughter of a powerful senator. Locked in her room since the onset of her powers, she finally finds a way to escape her prison...and finds the X-Men. (Unfinished.)

Set just after UXM 354, Rogue meets up with someone unexpected. According to Vicki, this is what Rogue should have done if she meant "unconditionally." (Unfinished.)

"Written in My Depression"
In a diferent universe, the X-Men found Rogue on the streets and took her in. This is her diary.


Web site: Southern Efx

Disclaimer: The recognizable characters, namely the X-men belong to Marvel. Other than that the whole scene's mine.
Note: Just needed to let out a little steam from all the sh*t going on in my life through an alternate reality story.
Comments to

entry one


Ah've never kept a diary, but they all said that it was supposed t'be good for me. Ah'm like, whatever, man. But ah ain't got nothin' to do, so alright, ah'll give the idea a shot.

Name's Sabine Rogers. Ah'm 22 this year, ah guess. Couldn't be dead sure. Ah don't even know who my parents are. Spent the last 7 years of my life on the streets, mixin' with all sorts of pondscum, tryin' every type of dope and drink. It's been like that for as long as ah can remember. Wakin' up with hangovers and darn near dyin' off from ODs. The highs ah got...They made me weep with joy, took me away from my hurtin', but it'd all be the same when daylight came.

This year, however, things have been inanely different. Ah've got a totally new lease of life, and ah've got direction now. Ah'm happy for once. Early this year, some funny things started to happen to me in the physical way. Ah had some bad hurtin' for no good reason, and one day I just woke up and found big holes in my bed and bedroom wall. Smashed right through. Sent my roommates crazy when they reckoned that ah did all that damage on my own. The hurtin' got worse, and everythin' fell apart when I touched Zach, my roommate and kinda zapped him. Ah had his thoughts and feelings in my head; ah nearly went crazy from the ordeal.

Tried t'deal with it by drinking and doing heroin. It didn't work. Ah ran out of money and started ta rob old ladies. This was where my redemption began. There was this impossibly beautiful red-head (ah now know her as Jean Grey, telepath extraordinaire) who saw me zap an old lady and take her money. Ah was 'bout to touch her too when ah heard her voice in my head, calmin' me and wantin' ta help me. Most weird thing that ever darned happened t'me...Ah actually believed her and trusted her. So here ah am today. A much better and healthier person.

This place ah've been callin' home for 4 months now is the Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters. That's all a facade, o'course. It's actually a school and home for the mutant group known as the X-men. Yup, that's what ah really was - a mutant; all that pain ah had, the incredible strength ah had, that zappin' thing that ah couldn't control...At least now ah knew what in Sam's Hill was wrong with me. Doctor McCoy labeled it as 'a psyche absorption'...Uh huh. Okay and a shrug, sugar.

As ah said, ah'm feelin' much better. Ah'm off drugs now, ah actually lookpretty and ah have purpose. Jean and Ororo said that ah've still got thatattitude problem and stubborn streak (well, a literal one, 'cause ah got ableached streak down my auburn hair), but it's miles better than what itused ta be. Words can't say how glad ah am ta be truly alive.

entry two

Ah can fly!!!! Literally! Xavier says that with some practice, ah could put this newly-surfaced power ta some nifty use. Everything looks so clear and peaceful from above, it's like ah can think so straight up here. Got myself a new place t'be alone besides my bedroom, ah guess.

A new guy came in today. Really scruffy an' all...But he was kinda appealin'. He's got the most beautiful eyes ah've ever seen, red on black, glowin' and mesmerizin'. They haven't got his name yet; the fella just walked in, showed Xavier a playin' card and charged it up with some sort of energy just by touchin' it. Hot damn. He's got style.

From the way he talks, ah'd reckon that he's Cajun. Ah'm thrilled at that...A fellow Southerner's always welcome, y'know. 'Specially if he keeps winkin' and grinnin' at ya. Ah like the attention, ah guess - he is a good-lookin' one after all. Probably an incorrigible flirt too. Ah ain't takin' all that flirtin' ta heart.

entry three

It happened again. Ah touched Ororo by accident and suck the psyche outta her. There was contact for barely one second, and ah sent her into a coma. Hank says she'll be up by next week...But ah ain't alright. My mind's on fire, thoughts and memories that don't belong ta me blippin' in and out of my head. Ah cried myself ta sleep last night. As if ah didn't have enough trouble already...Lord, not bein' able ta touch anyone? Ah just wanna die.

entry four

Ah got a call today. It was Annabelle, the only person back in the dumps whom ah told where ah was goin'. She told me that old Frances was dyin'. Couldn't believe it. Three months ago, when ah last saw her, she was just fine. Ah could feel my heart shatterin' again.

Rushed down t'the charity hospital where Annabelle had brought her to when she collapsed. Cold, cold loss gnawed at my chest as ah approached the bed, found Annabelle cryin' and Frances lyin' still and looking as pale as the sheet she was lyin' on. Ah knew ah was too late; she'd already gone. She didn't get ta see me one last time. Ah didn't get to tell her how much ah loved her, and how grateful ah was.

Annabelle said that it was leukemia. Frances had it for around 6 months, but never told anyone. We all thought she was losin' weight 'cos she couldn't get enough to eat. Ah gave her my food from the shelter, but she never wanted any...

Ah looked at her, but ah could hardly see, with all the harsh tears in my eyes. The people from the morgue were already comin' ta get her body. At least she bore a peaceful expression on her face, as if in deep sleep. Ah'd almost afraid to come down here; for fear that ah'd see her struggling to keep alive, or the pain, death throes...But the nurses said that she hadn't regained consciousness since she arrived. They determined her death as a complication of leukemia, some chest infection or something. In other words, asphyxiation.

It was a peaceful way to go, they said. Ah had to agree. Frances had been like a grandmother t'me...Lovin' me and carin' for me unconditionally. She tried ta get me off drugs. And ah did try, just for her and actually succeeded. Then the government people came, took her off the streets by force and stuck her in a home for the aged. Ah went back tothe dope after we lost contact. That was three months ago. Ah never stopped missin' her, but ah never had the resources or means t'find her.

As they took her exhausted, worn body away, ah couldn't stop cryin'. Oh,Grandma...Ah'm so sorry ah didn't make it in time.

entry five

We laid Frances ta rest today. The Professor was so kind and generous to lend a little space in the mansion burial grounds and some money to hold a simple funeral for her. Ah can't even begin t'express how grateful ah am.

Annabelle and ah felt a sense of bittersweet emotions. Ah guess we were happy that Frances didn't haveta suffer no more, but we felt such grief that she had been alone, we hadn't been able ta find her till it was too late...And that we were gonna miss her so.

Annabelle handed me a li'l pocketknife with a jaded handle. Frances had her will and her few prized possessions in an old shoebox, and she'd wanted me t'have her favourite treasure that she'd kept for a long time. Ta Annabelle she left a worn, charm bracelet for luck and direction.

Ah said goodbye t'Annabelle after the service. She said that she was seeking employment through an agency. Ah hope she finds a job soon.

The Cajun gave me a nice surprise. After a whole week of being at the mansion, he finally came up t'me with sympathy in those mesmerizin' glowin' eyes of his, gave me a warm hug, and said somethin' like, "Remy's real sorry dis happened, Sabby,"

Was that his name? Remy?

Ah was really grateful for that hug, 'cos Lord, ah needed one that comforted, and his did.

entry six

It's been a month since Frances passed away. Ah guess ah'm back to my old self, but my heart will always be heavy when ah think of her.

Had a Danger Room trainin' session with Remy today. Remy LeBeau, t'be exact, hailin' from the Big Easy. Jus' neighbours from where ah used t'live - that's Mississippi, girl, if ya haven't forgotten already. It was so...thrillin' and charged with tension. Ah've tried ta put up walls around me for so long now...But each time he smiles at me, everythin' just melts into somethin' warm and fuzzy. Ah'm filled with longin' and the attraction is drivin' me crazy, but how can ah allow myself t'get closer ta him, with my powers and all?

But ah love bein' around him. The smell of his unique scent of tobacco and cologne, his cheerfulness and his sense of humour. Ah crave the attention that he showers on me.

Ah'm so confused.

Ah want a relationship, but ah'm just not sure if ah'm willin' t'go all the way with it.
Ah want him and me ta have somethin' goin' strong so much, but ah'm afraid he'll just leave when he gets tired bein' denied a touch. Ah've never had much experience of handlin' relationships, and this scares the heck outta me...

Frances, is he the one?

entry seven

Is this how love feels like?

Hell, ah ain't sure, so ah can't tell. But ah want t'be near him all the while and have him all ta myself. Remy LeBeau, damn ya. Why do y'play these games with me?

Yesterday we were working together on the communications center together, tryin' ta figure out what Hank had taught us...We were alone and sittin' so close; he put his arm around me like there was nothin' more casual and right in the entire world. My usual reaction would've been t'pull away or t'slap the guy, but with him, ah didn't mind. In fact, ah liked being that close t'him.

How shameless could ah be? Haha.

The air-conditionin' was cold in there. Ah complained about it, and in an instant, he took off his jacket and made me wear it. Nearly couldn't take the emotions runnin' amok through my heart. Ah was sure that he could hear my li'l heart thumpin' away wildly. It took all the self-control ah had not t'kiss him hard, or to inhale the scent of him deeply and plain obviously.

There we were, shamelessly flirtin' away and talkin' about everythin' and anythin' that came t'mind. We had so much in common, including a tendency t'forget our work. Yeah, we didn't learn much on the com-center that day.

Then Jean called Remy telepathically down to the hangar t'learn a little about the Blackbird systems and he had t'go. Ah could've screamed out loud when he grinned at me disarmingly and then kissed me on the cheek...He must've planned it all along, 'cos my hair was in the way and prevented any absorption. My god...Ah had a warm rush of fuzziness engulf me, and ah had to try so hard not to giggle in front of him!! My goodness. Just thinkin' about it again has me all dreamy-like now.

It's late now, but ah wish Remy were here in my room t'talk and joke around, but our dorms are pretty close to the Professor's quarters and ah don't fancy a midnight naggin' from him...Ah love Remy's company so much...Can't wait till the morrow comes.

entry 8

We were absolutely naughty today!

Remy and ah skipped 2 classes in a row and took a nap meanwhiles! He'd discovered a room way down in the basement called the Z'noxx chamber; it kinda blocks off any telepathic contact once you're inside, so we sneaked off together durin' break and stole into that high-tech room and locked ourselves in there.

We'd both spent the whole night chatting on the Internet, not sleepin' much at all and endin' up in an almost zombie-like state. So what better idea than ta steal some forty-winks durin' some of the most borin' lessons on earth? We huddled up in a corner of the room and leaned against each other to get comfy...Ah'll bet ah was the happiest gal in the world then!

So while ah was happily sleepin' with the man ah fancied (in the most platonical sense), the other students were sufferin' and ah'll bet Jean (not bein' able ta sense us) and Scott were lookin' for us up and down, but never thought of the Z'noxx chamber.

What a joke!

entry nine
(The last ah'll ever write)

Ah thought he liked me in *that* way. He showed all signs of interest. Ah just don't understand why he'd haveta do this t'me...Lead me on and then leave me high and dry. My heart aches from bein' hurt and rejected this way.

He can't touch me, that's why. It always rounds off t'that. This whole week, he hasn't been spendin' much time with me. Ah wondered why, but ah was too shy and unsure of myself t'ask him anythin'...Too scared of rejection and the usual 'ah only treat ya as a friend' shit. He went out a lot past 2 weeks, comin' back pretty late and never askin' me if ah'd want t'go along.

That's because he had a girlfriend outside, stupid. So ya gathered up your guts t'go follow the Cajun out secretly, Sabby. For what? T'see that hot floozy that he had by his arm, kissin' passionately and actin' like old lovers? A beautiful, sexy woman that you're nothin' compared t'her but a naive, unsophisticated ex-junkie?

Ya stupid, stupid fool. Dreamer. Who'd want a girl like ya who can't touch anyone wit'out suckin' their brains out or killin' them? You're not pretty enough? You ain't the model type of chick? Ah'm bein' myself for cryin' out loud, Remy LeBeau-and ya stepped all over me! How could you be so shallow? What was all that flirtin' and affection for, ya bastard?

My anger, hurt and jealousy got the better of me; ah went on over and hollered at him..."Ya bloody faggot!". He looked at me as if he'd done nothin' wrong, like nothin' was ever his fault, that he was not even one tiny bit guilty for hurtin' me so cruelly.

Oh, Remy...Ah...loved you. How could ya be so insensitive and so hurtful?

Never mind. So ah was a fool t'dream...Ah was desperate for love and attention? Maybe.

It's no problem anymore. Ah won't encounter another situation like this again, Remy.

Because you've taught me how ta stop dreamin' of happy endings and true love...Thanks.


The End




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