Down-Home Charm Photo Album Songbank Fan-Fiction History Books Fan Art Miscellania Links
Fan-Fiction >

Stories by Adrienne L. McKenzie

"The Southern Belle, the Cajun and the Computer"
When Gambit does one too many all-night online chat sessions, Rogue decides to cure his Internet addiction her own way.

E-mail: XRogueXMen@AOL.COM

I was encouraged to send this by Keri and Keith so I hope it's okay! Just   some fluff writing I did at 1:30 a.m.! Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: The X-Men belong to Marvel -- I don't have any rights to them or anything else they created that may be in this story (duh.) As for America Online, Gateway, etc. the same thing goes. This was just for fun -- I won't get any cash for this (ain't that the truth). I write only for laughs! Hee hee.

A Day In The Life at The Xavier Institute
(home to dysfunctional mutant families!)

A Humorous Tale about the X-Men, Romance and Internet Addiction

The sun was just starting to cast a warm, golden glow on the outer walls of the Xavier Institute. The hallways inside were grey with remnants of the night except for one doorway in the men's dormitory wing that glowed from a 60 watt bulb.

Remy Lebeau, also known as Gambit, was sitting at his desk, lounging back in a black leather desk chair as an America Online Instant Message signaled a continuing chat. "Lemme see," Remy read, or rather silently mumbled the contents out loud, "Non, non non," he shook his head as he typed, and was about to silently curse out loud when there came a rapping at his door. He hurriedly slammed the keyboard shelf back under the desk and hit the power to turn off the computer just as the door whooshed open.

Staring at Gambit, with a silly grin on his face, the Beast, also known as Henry McCoy was hanging upside down in the hallway. "Feeding your late night/ early morning electronic Internet addiction, Remy?" Beast teased.

"Mon ami, don tell Rogue that I was..." Remy was about to defend himself but the Beast finished with his own suggestion...

"...That you were bonding with your plastic hardware again? Oh no, wouldn't dream of it," Beast laughed and then headed down the hallway in silent yet forceful leaps.

Gambit shook his head, looked both ways down the hallway and then shut the door to return to his computer.

Rogue blinked sleepily and rubbed at her eyes as she turned over to stare at the clock. 6:00 a.m. Wouldn't it be lovely ta sleep in for once during the week? she thought. Old habits were hard to break, especially when you were used to waking up at the crack of dawn to save the world. She wondered if Gambit was up and decided to get him up if he wasn't. For several weeks now, since Remy had discovered the pleasures of America Online, he had been, for lack of better words, obsessed -- staying up until the wee hours of morning and sleeping until the afternoon. It all left Rogue alone with nothing to do and Cyclops wondering if he should put Remy down as "swing shift" for saving the world.

Rogue picked up the phone and dialed the in-house number to Remy's room. "Nagdamnit, Remy!" She slammed the phone down at the busy signal. Shoving off her cotton sheets, she jumped to her feet and stomped down the hallway of the women's dormitory. Not bothering to put on a robe over her lightweight sleepwear, she crossed over to the men's dormitory area, muttering in frustration as she walked across the cool hardwood floor. She could see Remy's door a mile away -- its sillouete illuminated like the Olympic torch as light snuck out from its cracks. She shoved open the door and hid a smirk as Remy, obviously taken off guard, fell over backwards in his desk chair. He hit the floor with a thud, his legs up in the air and the wind knocked out of him as his speakers announced in an overjoyous zeal that didn't fit the moment, "You've got mail!"

Jean Grey and Scott Summers were laying in bed together recuperating from a long night of lovemaking. They had snuck back into Scott's former room for a bit of a kick, or at least, for old time's sake.

*Scott.* Jean's voice entered Cyclops''s mind.

*Yes, Jean?* Scott was waiting for her next words, which he assumed were going to be a heart-filled "I love you" but frowned when Jean continued. *Rogue is going to throw Gambit's computer out the window and into the pool.* Scott winced as he heard a glass window shatter and the yelling that followed.

"Do you suppose she had a good shot?" Scott asked out loud staring at the ceiling and contemplating the best route to take to the Hardware store during the morning rush hour traffic.

"At Remy?" Jean questioned.

"No, at the pool."

"And dont'cha dare go and buy another one," Rogue hollered and stomped off down the hallway.

"Good morning to you too, Rogue," Bobby, known as Iceman within the X-Men family, stood in his doorway rubbing the back of his neck groggily. He watched her saunter off as Remy came to stand by his side.

"That lil white nightie looks real good on de chere, neh?" Gambit rubbed his chin as Bobby started to laugh. Suddenly, they turned to stare as Scott stuck his head outside his door, said "Good morning," then retreated back inside. They stared at the door as Bobby scratched his head confused to see Scott in his former room.

"I thought they..." he paused in midsentence as little giggling sounds and grunts started coming from behind the door.

"Oh mon dieu," Remy shook his head, "de things dis Cajun should've known before he moved in here."

"You mean Rogue's temper?" Bobby laughed.

"No, I mean the Summers," Gambit smirked and they headed downstairs to get a strong cup of coffee.

Bobby and Remy sat at the kitchen table, the small overhead light casting a soft glow on the room's still-dark interior. Bobby grimaced, "Who made the coffee?"

"Y'really had t'ask, mon ami?" Gambit rolled his eyes.

They locked eyes and then grinned as a name rolled out of their mouths at the same time, "Bishop." Though Bishop had come from the future and was well aware of "things to come" he still hadn't mastered how to make a cup of good coffee.

"Shoulda brought some coffee back from Seattle, Remy," Bobby said while adding spoonful after spoonful of sugar to his cup.

"Had other t'ings on my mind, if you can remember," Gambit glared.

"You? Other things on your mind? Nah," Bobby was the ever-constant smartass.

Just then, the side door that lead from the outside grounds to the kitchen swooped open and a soft breeze filled the room. A dark figure, short, but thoroughly built sauntered in.

"Did Bishop make the coffee again?" a gruff voice questioned.

"Morning, Logan," Bobby said, still adding sugar to his coffee, "and yeah he did."

Wolverine held the coffee pot up in his hand, examining it closely. "Damn."

Just then a whirling sound started to come closer from down the hallway. "Coming through!" Jubilee exclaimed as she circled the kitchen table on her rollar blades. She grabbed Gambit's bagel from his plate and skated off.

"Hey, chere, Remy work hard for dat bagel, neh?!" Remy exclaimed.

Bobby smacked Remy across the back, "First your computer, then the bagel," he made a tsk tsk tsk sound with his tongue, "these women really have it in for you, huh?"

"Was that your computer I saw in the deep end, Cajun?" Wolverine asked as he chewed on a beef jerky stick.

"Rogue decided that Internet-Aholics Anonymous would take too long to cure Gambit, so she, uh, took matters into her own hands. Oh --" Bobby continued, obviously overjoyed, "and Gambit's room now has free air conditioning. All we gotta do is have 'Roro summon a constant breeze and..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Remy pushed back his chair, "'nuff wit de humor at mon expense, already. Dis Cajun has t'find a paper and find some sales."

"Woah," Bobby leaned back in his chair, "you aren't going to go get another one of those things are you? If Rogue finds out she'll send you through the window the next time."

Logan drank his cup of "Bishop Coffee" in one swig, grimacing as it went down. "Let the Cajun have his death wish. You and I are on call to the Danger Room, Bobby."

"Damnit," Bobby swore and banged his head against the table.

Jubilee counted the doors as she skated past them, 'three, four, five,' she made a sharp turn on her rollar blades and wheeled her body into Rogue's room. "Howdy there Ms. Southern Mutant," she faked her best southern accent. She jumped onto Rogue's bed and watched as the other woman searched for a CD.

"Howdy, Jubilee," Rogue said in a natural, southern drawl. Her voice was soft and welcoming, a direct contrast to the previous hours.

"What did you do to the Cajun's computer," Jubilee opened a packet of gum and started to chew two sticks at once. "Hwe wuz pwetty wupset, wa know," she said through a mouthful of Hubba-Bubba.

"Yeah well ah'm sick an' tired of waiting foah him ta get his ass up aftah bein' up so late from bein' on that computer," Rogue muttered.

"Oooooh," Jubilee said out loud, swinging her legs back and forth over the bed.

Rogue put in her 'Police' Cd and sat on the bed by Jubilee. "Want some? " Jubilee held out two sticks of gum to Rogue.

"Oh hell, sure," Rogue popped both sticks into her mouth. They sat there listening to music and chewing gum.

"Oh!" Jubilee pulled out a folded booklet from her back jean-shorts pocket, "did you see the new comic book that came out? You'll never guess who it's about," She exclaimed and shoved the paper mass into Rogue's blinking green eyes.

"Oh dear gawd, no," Rogue groaned. She knew that the people had taken liberties to turn the X-Men into a comic book years ago, but what she saw made her want to drown herself in the pool with Remy's computer.

"Yup, the Cajun has his own comic book!" Jubilee smirked. "The Gambit Series," she laughed.

Rogue grabbed the comic book and stared intently at Jubilation, "He hasn't seen this yet, has he?"

"Nu uh," Jubilee shook her head.

"Dont'cha dare let him see it, then. This'll only blow his ego up ta gawd knows what and then ah have ta deal with that as well as tha damn Internet addiction," Rogue started pacing around her room.

Jubilee blew a bubble and let it pop and smirked, "How much are you going to pay me not to?"

"Look at dis one, Beast!" Remy Lebeau exclaimed while Henry McCoy mixed something acidic in a vial.

"Uh . . . huh . . ." It was not the first zealous outburst Gambit had shared with Henry in the past five minutes. He watched the Cajun cut out a coupon with scissors.

"I gotta get to de Comp USA store," Remy folded the paper and bounded off of the sofa. "Need anything, mon ami?" he asked.

"Oh just a formula to compound the matrix antidote to the zygote fluxation of..." Beast started babbling as Remy ran out the door, not waiting for an answer.

"You'd think it were Christmas in the Xavier Mansion," Beast mused aloud as a cloud of smoke started to rise from the vial. He waved his hand frantically above it, fanning it out of the way, "Oh my stars and garters, this is not in the formula."

Remy Lebeau was making his way down the hallway to head up to the garage when the Danger Room door suddenly opened. "Hey, Cajun, going to get your electronic fix?" Logan laughed and walked past Gambit. Remy watched as Bobby came stumbling out of the training sequence.

"Bad sequence?" Gambit eyed Bobby, who was drenched in sweat and wobbly around the knees.

"Remind me to take all of Logan's beef jerkies, throw them in our blender and make mush out of them," he huffed out, but stopped to take a deep breath as a white smoke crept down the hallway. "What's that smell?" As soon as Bobby said it, a loud explosion came from around the corner and Henry McCoy's outraged voice filled the air in one, furious accusation, "GAMBIT!"

"Uh, Gotta go, Bobby," Remy held up his coupon, "Comp USA havin' a sale."

"Twenty . . . bucks . . ." Rogue grinded her teeth with her final offer. Jubilee leaned back on Rogue's bed considering.

"I can barely buy a CD for that amount," she considered. "Besides, we all know what the Cajun's ego is like."

"Then what would ya recommend," Rogue grabbed a pillow and held it threateningly above Jubilee.

"Woah, woah, woah Mississippi girl, cool your steamboat wheel. You won't get a series of your own with an attitude like that. Forty bucks and it's a deal."

"Like Ah'd even want mah own series? They'd write me all wrong anyhow." She hit Jubilee playfully with the pillow. "Do ya take a check?" Rogue glared in Jubilee's face and asked with sass.

"Yeah, with your luck they'd send you off to Antarctica or something. Make it payable to 'Jubilation, world class mutant and comic-book extraordinaire.'"

Scott Summers rested his head against his steering wheel and waited to move another inch forward. He was stuck, bumper to bumper mid-town and the hardware store was another ten minutes away. Okay, the Profesor is going to have to implement some new rules at the mansion because I am not going to deal with Internet Hysteria every damn day. Scott started to move his vehicle forward as the car in front of him turned off the road but then had to yell in anger as a motorcycle cut him off, "Up yours buddy!" Scott started to raise a certain finger but stopped midway in shock as the motorcyclist waved and grinned, "Gambit?!"

"WHERE is he, Bobby?"

Rogue had Iceman cornered in the TV room, she pinned him against the wall her arms blocking any exit for the nervous man.

"You mean Gambit?" Bobby was trying his best to play coy.

"No, ah mean the mutant formally known as Gambit. Of COURSE Gambit!" Rogue glared. "Y'got five seconds t'tell me before ah hide the remote," she threatened.

"But Martha Stewart is on, Rogue," Bobby pleaded. He hated Martha Stewart and wanted desperately to change to the baseball game being aired.

"Exactly," Rogue waved the remote in front of Bobby's face with a sparkle in her green eyes.

Jean was reading through Scott's journal when a knock sounded at the door. "Come in, Bobby," she greeted and smiled at him.

"Hi, Jean," he looked sheepish. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

"What is it," Jean was boggled, it wasn't every day Bobby was wandering around asking for favors from her.

"Could you read Rogue's thoughts and find out where she hid the remote for me?" He sighed.

"Did you tell her where Gambit was?" Jean raised her eyebrow, reading his thoughts instead.

"Umm," Iceman looked around the room, "nevermind, I'll find it."

Rogue swept through the automatic -- electronic doors to Comp USA. Bobby hadn't been much help, but Beast had been overjoyed to give away the Cajun's location. She looked around for the Gateway section of the store and spotted Remy. "That boy is goin' ta get the butt whoopin' of his life." She started forward, hands on her hips, to apprehend the thief.

Remy saw his angry, petite fille comin' from a mile away, "Let me explain, mon chere, y'see I have to find out what's bein' discussed on the Gambit mailing list, so I can . . . ." Remy started but continued with a bunch of 'owe owe owe's' as Rogue dragged him out of the store.

"Y'need serious help Monsieur Lebeau," Rogue growled but stopped short as Remy put his arms around her waist.

"Non, chere, all I need is you," he murmured close to her ear, but careful not to touch her skin with his lips.

Rogue's demeanor softened slightly, "Me, huh?"

"Well, yeah ... you..." he grinned, and Rogue knew what was coming, "and a new computer."


Down-Home Charm / Fan-Fiction / Fan Artwork / History Books / Photo Album / Songbank / Miscellania / Links / Updates

Legalese: Rogue, the X-Men, and the distinctive likenesses thereof are Trademarks of Marvel Characters, Inc. and are used without permission. This is an unofficial fansite, and is not sponsored, licensed or approved by Marvel Comics.
Privacy Policy and Submission Guidelines