Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel. Some scenes are copied from Uncanny X-Men #375 and #376 and are used in my original story. I am not being paid nor receiving any kind of profit. No one is to copy, print or re-write this story without my permission. No one else shall make any profit from this story. Consider all other relevant disclaimer stuff said.
This is an alternative story based on certain events in issues #375 and #376 of Uncanny X-Men.

Choices
by Syvan Coyne

Chapter Two

He had to know. There hadn't been any time to talk to Rogue privately since that stunt Xavier and the other telepaths pulled, and Remy was tired of waiting, wondering. He had to know. Xavier had sent out a message requesting everyone to come to the briefing room. Remy didn't really have any intention of going but he though Rogue would go, even if it was to finally say her peace and leave, so Remy positioned himself in the corridor and waited.

"Hey chere. Long time, no see." Remy said with deceptive casualness.

"Gambit...?" Rogue came to an abrupt halt and turned to face him.

"A guy could get the idea you're avoidin' him Rogue ... Maybe feelin' kind o'awkward after dat psychodrama nonsense Xavier put us t'rough to test our loyalties? Dose mind games o' his messed wit' our heads big time, girl. I'm guessin' we BOTH might've said some t'ings we didn't mean." This is it, he thought. Remy wasn't aware he was holding his breath.

"Yeah, it was pretty intense, all right. But ... Ah think maybe it clarified a few things 'tween the two of us. What ah said ... it really never will work, Remy. Maybe it's time we both admit that." Rogue looked away, waiting to hear Remy's agreement. Since the entire Antarctic thing, Remy had never been able to tell her his feelings were still there for her. They had both been put through the wringer by what Xavier had done, but, that type of situation was NOT what she wanted Remy basing his feelings for her on.

"Hang on dere, are y' ... y'mean, y'really t'ink ... it's over?" The last words were barely more than a whisper. All the air rushed out of him. He felt deflated, adrift. Fool, he thought to himself, why didn't you tell her how you felt before this? She doesn't believe the things I said to her. Why should she? She gave me several opportunities, and I side-stepped all of them. Of course she is going to believe I said them out of guilt or some twisted sense of chivalry because I thought she was dying.

"I ... " Rogue was interrupted from saying whatever it was as Kitty and Peter came down the hall.

"C'mon guys ... better get a move on. The Professor wanted us all in the briefing room ten minutes ago." Kitty said. It wasn't the usual "Kitty" tone of voice, though. She had sounded sarcastic, as if some morbid sense of humour wanted her to add, "and you know what he's done in the past to test our loyalty, think of what he'll come up with for being late to a meeting."

Rogue raised herself into the air with a "Gotcha Kitty."

"Right. Gotcha." Remy said but his comments were to Rogue, not Kitty. He started after the three of them, not caring where he was going anymore.

"Wait." Rogue said landing in front of him. Kitty and Peter also came to a stop. "No, you two go on. Remy and ah have to talk."

"Do you wish us to ask the Professor to wait for you?" Peter asked.

"Nah, ah don't care. If we miss somethin' will ya fill us in later?" Rogue responded but maintained eye contact only with Remy.

"Da. Of course." Peter nodded. He and Kitty continued on, leaving Remy and Rogue alone in the hallway.

"We need ta talk Remy," she said quietly after Kitty and Peter disappeared from view.

"Why? Seems ta me you say everythin' ya mean ta say." Remy didn't mean to sound so offish. He was cursing himself thinking he had just blown his opportunity to convince her that he had meant every word he had told her and that he regretted not telling her sooner. That he was going to prove it to her if she would just give him one more chance.

"That's just it. I haven't said everything I mean ta say. I don't think you have either. Ye see, I promised mahself I wasn't gonna run away anymore. But, here ah was, nearly doin' just that. Will you talk ta me?"

Hope began to bloom in his chest, but, he tamped it down. He wouldn't allow himself to rush ahead foolishly. She just wanted to talk. That didn't mean she was changing her mind.

They entered the computer room back down the hallway and sat down facing each other.

"Look Remy, ah'm sorry about what ah said just now. It wasn't exactly what ah was trying ta say. We keep dancin' round each other without ever sayin' what we really mean y'know. We both been hurt by things in our pasts that we get our feathers ruffled pretty darn quick and make assumptions about things that were never said. When that's not the issue, it's usual that ah go and use mah powers as a huge shield to hide behind every time ya start gettin' too close to me. Ah never have said ah'm sorry about that. Ah am you know. Sorry that is. Ah wasn't being fair ta you or mahself. Ah'm thinking you sort of do the same thing though, except that it's when you start to feel happy and good about yoahself. You feel guilty about what happened with the Morlocks, and that you don't deserve ta be happy. So when ya do, you pull away from me and tell yoahself it's what ya deserve. Am ah right?"

She had certainly gotten to some core problems, that was for sure, Remy thought. She was being very honest about herself and him. He couldn't be anything less. "Yeah, yer right chere. I never looked at my actions dat close before but, y'right. De t'ing is though, that I know I ain't good enough for ya. I'm jus' a t'ief."

"Oh pu-leeasse. Don't fall inta that nonsense. If we really got down ta comparin' notes about our pasts, ah'd knock ya on that very cute butt of yours. It's why ah know how you feel and why you act like you do about the Morlocks. It's how ah felt for the longest time about Carol Danvers and what ah did ta her. Ah still haven't totally forgiven mahself but, ah have finally put it behind me. I guess ye could say I've come to terms with some of the things in mah past."

"So what ARE ye sayin' chere? Dat y'willin' to give US another chance?"

"Ah don't know. Ah'm still scared, and ah have ta admit that those head games of Xavier's really messed me up again. With the kinda stress we were under, all our emotions were raw and exposed ... "

"An' y't'ink, dat maybe my feelin's were only as strong as I said 'cause of the scenario we were in is dat it?" Remy asked. Rogue nodded mutely.

Remy nodded his understanding "It's 'cause I didn't tell you how I was feelin' before dis stuff 'appened right? All dose times I should have told you how much I still cared about you and didn't. Anyt'ing I say now is kinda tainted isn't it?" he asked sadly.

"Sort of. It's what ah was really trying ta say earlier. Well actually ah was tryin' ta do two things. One was the old hidin' behind mah powers and offerin' ya a way out if you knew what you had said about lovin' me was a mistake. It would be easier to blame it on mah powers than know ya didn't care about me anymore. The other was that ah think maybe we could end up rushin' back into things too quickly again. Like we did the first time. We have ta face facts Remy. Right now ah still don't have any control of mah powers and ah don't know if ah ever will."

Remy looked as though he was going to protest but Rogue put a gloved finger against his lips to stop him. "It's a real possibility, and ah don't think either of us has really thought about it and what our options are or what the implications of it can have on our future. As much as you have protested in the past that it don't matter to ya; at least not yet, it keeps poppin' up in mah mind. Ah see Scott and Jean holdin' hands an kissin' and ah want that for us too. But right now all ah see is the future with nothin' but unfulfilled hopes and dreams. Of seein' yoah love turned ta pity or even worse if ya grew ta hate me, for all the time ya could have been with someone who could give ya everyt'ing you deserve and more."

"Now who be talkin' nonsense girl." Remy raised a gloved finger and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Ah we're a fine pair arn't we chere. So noble and always t'inking of each other. I t'ink we bot' need to look a little closer to home first neh? We bot' so scared of bein' hurt in love, scared dat we settin' ourselves up for failin' and heartbreak, we're not even really tryin'. We're our own worst enemies. I t'ink maybe I know what you were sayin' earlier now. I know I don' want y't'inkin' dat my feelin's for you are anyt'ing less dan 100% true. I wan' to express dem over time, prove my love for you. I don' wan' you to 'ave any doubt because de only time I tell you 'ow I feel is during ONE overly emotional and stressful situation. Dat isn't fair. To eit'er of us." Remy smiled slightly, hope taking a tenacious hold and refusing to be controlled. He waited for her response.

"You are a very smart man Remy Lebeau. Ah mean, deep down ah knew ah was tryin' ta protect mahself, but, ah hadn't looked at it as bein' as selfish as it is. If we had only talked like this months ago, we would have saved ourselves so much grief and pain." Rogue shook her head with a mixture of sadness and regret.

"So what do ya think we should do now?" she asked.

We. It was an amazing word. That word, cancelled out things like 'alone', 'self', and 'me'; suddenly, he was a part of something, he 'belonged'.

We. It was a beautiful word.

"I want US to keep talkin' like dis. I want US to stop playin' all dose silly games we been playin' and say what's really in our hearts. I want US to try to be the best US there is."

"Ah think we need ta take this one step at a time. Remy, we have to look at this logically. We can't be as frivolous as others. We have some real issues to consider. Things that have a very big impact on our lives whether we are together or not."

"Well now. I t'ink maybe I have an idea or two 'bout some of dese issues chere. Let's go away for a while. Jus' you an' me."

"Remy if you're not gonna take this seriously ... " Rogue replied.

"I am serious chere." Remy cut her off. "T'ink 'bout it. Scott an' Jean, dey go off to be by demselves. To connect. Same as Warren an' Betsy. Why shouldn't we? We can talk until we're sick of it. We can also use de time to learn about ourselves and what we want but, we would still be dere for each other at de same time chere. Please, say yes." He looked into her eyes and willed her to see into his heart and soul.

"Ah won't lie ta ya Remy; Ah'm still scared. Of trying and failing."

Rogue paused, trying to gather her thoughts. Remy felt his stomach tighten into a knot.

Finally, Rogue continued, "It's not going to stop me, though. Ah think yoah worth tryin' for. Ah think ah'm worth trying for. Ah think we should go now though. Especially after the madness goin' on around here lately."

She smiled at him. It was the first real smile he had seen from her in days, if not weeks. He wanted to jump up and cheer. She believed in him enough to try for something better. She was willing to put aside her own fears for him. He was both elated and humbled by this woman he loved. He wouldn't fail her. Not again. He knew what he was going to do too. He was going to tell her everything about his connection to Sinister, his feelings about his 'family' and Belle. He was also going to convince her to let him help her control her powers.

Remembering her request about leaving immediately, he paused. "I don' t'ink we should leave jus' yet chere. We got one more t'ing to take care of before we go. We got to tell de others how we feel about what happened de other day. Dey 'ave to know what dey did was wrong and can't be forgiven on dere 'sorry'. Dey have to know 'ow we feel chere."

He was speaking from his heart, and she knew he was right. It wouldn't fix things or put things to right. but, if they continued to avoid the others, the anger and resentment would fester and grow. They would tell the others how they felt and let the dice roll where they may, so to speak. The ball would be in their court then. Remy knew neither he nor Rogue would give up on 'the dream' but if they couldn't come to terms with the others and had to fight for 'the dream without the others they would do it and they would be good at it.

To be continued.

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