Dedicated to my ever so brilliant scary editor FieryRogue.
Hon, you are the peachiest! ( and I don't mind your nitpicky
edits at all, no no, not at all ... *sniffles* ^___- )
Beat Me Out of Myself
>Who are you?
>What are you?
Leader of the X-Men
>Are you sure?
Haha, good one, now leave me the heck alone.
Okay, so maybe Ah'm not one of these big strapping spandex
superheroes, so what?
>What are you afraid of?
Ah'm not afraid, now leave, already
Ya know Ah can, ya know Ah'm superstrong and everything,
Ah can make ya go forever
>Why aren't you doing so?
Ah'm stronger than that, Ah can face ya, Mystique taught
>Are you sure?
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
>What about Gambit?
Ah won't go there, sugah
>Do you love him?
>Why are you here alone, then?
Ya know it can't be. Mah powers...
>This is not about your powers
Oh, do tell me, wise one, what's this about, then?
>About the fact that you are a weak, immature brat, unable
to really love and let yourself be loved, unable to face who
you really are.
Th.. that was enough, Ah'm leaving
>You can't escape me
Ah know, Ah hate you
>What is it that keeps you from being strong?
So, Ah'm not the serene Storm, Ah'm not as strong as Jean,
who still fights after Scott's death. Ah'm not perfect - what's
the big deal?
>It's easy to be weak, isn't it?
Shuddup, ya don't know what ya're talking about
>... to dwell in your misery, full of self-pity
... shut up, shut up. SHUT UP!!!!
>Why don't you let Gambit love you?
Ah'm trying, okay? Ah try, every day, every second, but Ah
can't! Ah've been there and it hurts. It hurts everytime and
it gets worse. Ah can't go there again...
>Do you know who you are?
... Ah'm Rogue...
>No, you pretend to be rogue. Because people will think
you're strong when you call yourself Rogue... because they
will stay away from you. They will not come close to see how
weak you are, to see what a pile of miserable shit you are.
No! That's not ture, Ah want them ta come close... touch
>No, you don't. You want to stay the director and the
main actress in the perfid little play you call your life.
Wanna play the drama through, the more pain, the more .. entertaining
for your perverted little mind.
>I'm not and you know it. We cannot lie to each other...
>I won't ... I stick to you, forever, and I will do my
best to make my fate more endurable.
By letting me suffer?
>Stop being so 'strong'. Be really strong and admit your
weakness, Rogue, and find the strength to LIVE your life.
Ah can't ... it hurts...
>Life is hurt, but it's still more than your farce
Ya think so? Ya think Ah can do it?
>No. What do you think? I'm not your therapist, I'm here
to show you your worthlessness. But it sounded good, right?
Like one of your dumb sappy novels, where everything turns
out good, the hero overcomes his fears and lives happily ever
after. But that's not what your life is made of, and it's
my job - and pleasure - to show you.
> Splintering the mirror won't help you. It will only
be proof for the others how far you're gone. But I will always
be here, in every quick reflection in the glass, in every
lake you look into, reminding you of what you could be, of
what you will never be...
Note: the title: it's strange,
the title came before the story. I sat at the station, waiting
for my metro home, and there was that graffiti, that said
'beat me out of me'. Someone had corrected it by spraying
'myself' across the second 'me'. First, I had a good laugh
over the fact that someone was actually correcting graffitis,
then, somehow, the line intrigued me and the whole story was
written in the metro on my way home.
Somehow (after 'out of control'
wasn't flamed but actually my greatest personal success till
now concerning fanfiction) I'm more into short stories and
character studies at the moment. But don't worry, I still
plan to one day finish my ongoings ;P
Hope you liked the story and will send me feedback (hint hint
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