Disclaimer: Characters are Marvel's
This is just a short piece to express my feelings towards
the recent (and not so recent) changes and decisions in the
Marvel Universe concerning everyone's dearest couple (especially
the course they've taken with the characters)
Out of Control
Sleep. A simple thing to ask for. But impossible when you
lay awake at night and try desperately to fall asleep. Nothing
will work then, when you concentrate so much on calming down
that you become more and more restless. Rogue's sleep has
always been troubled, when she had slept at all. From experience
she knew that it was senseless to try at all, so she got up.
She put on her bathrobe and went to the kitchen to get her
some milk. She opened the refrigerator and took the bottle
"Bit late for a snack, n'est-ce pas?" (isn't it?)
Rogue nearly dropped the bottle, startled by the voice. Gambit
leaned against the opposite wall of the kitchen, were she
hadn't noticed him before.
"Boy, sugar, don't do that again! Why are y'all sittin' here
in the dark? We do have lights, y'know?"
"I was t'inking."
Gambit slowly strode towards the young woman and took the
bottle out of her hands. He poured her a glass of milk and
turned around to leave the kitchen without another word. Through
the turmoil of emotions this little midnight encounter caused
her, Rogue knew that she had to sort things out with the Cajun.
Gambit turned around with cat-like grace to face her. The
look of his startling eyes gave Rogue the creeps.
"Uhm, are y'all angry with me? Ah mean, we're still friends,
A short bitter laugh escaped Remy's throat. Then he glared
at her with anger glowing in his eyes. Rogue suddenly understood
why people were sometimes scared by his look.
"No, chère, we will never be friends. We may love
each other or we may hate each other, but we will never be
"How can you say that! We're teammates! Ah...Ah thought y'all
cared foh me. Why can't ya just accept that Ah finally make
mah own decisions."
"Sorry that I'm not dat perfectly mannered, but my girlfriend
jus' broke up wit' me and so I'm not in de best o' moods!"
"Y'all cain't blame me foh finally makin' the right decision.
You should know as well that it's right!"
Gambit quickly walked towards her, pressing her against the
wall. Rogue gasped in surprise and wanted to protest, but
he cut her off.
"No, now you shut up and let me talk for a change, chère!
You say dat 'things will nevah evah work wit' us'! But dat's
bull, and dat's it! Ya know what your problem is? Ya can't
stand reality! Ya once said dat you t'ought I was the closest
ya would get to Prince Charming, but I tell ya something:
I'm not! You live in a dream-world because the real world
has treated you oh-so harshly, and so you put every wish,
everyt'ing you ever yearned for in your dream and built yourself
your perfect place dere, without your powers and with your
knight in shining armor, where evryt'ing was jus' perfect
and nobody would ever hurt you! But now, in the real world,
you can't accept anything less dan perfect, anything dat isn't
enough to make your dream a reality. I'm sorry dat I don't
fit into de little play you want to make of your life. I'm
REAL and dat scares you to death. Because you can't control
me like you can't control your powers. Because I'm not de
Mr Perfect of your dreams. I might have my dark secrets and
I might disappear for a few days and not tell you where I
was and I might hurt you. But I'm de only real thing in your
life. You can't control life, Rogue, because dat's what makes
life worth living, dat you never know what will happen, dat
you can't control it. When I met you, I saw a fire in you,
a fondness of life. But you got scared, you withdrew into
your shell, into your self-made prison. And now you decided
that I'm endangering your house of cards and broke up wit'
me. Now you might hook up wit' someone who will adapt to your
composition of life, maybe Colossus? But believe me, everyt'ing
that isn't crazy, passionate, uncontrolled love, is a waste
of time. I just want you to take your bite out of life, because
- believe me - life is too short to wait and someday you will
be too entangled in your lie to taste freedom."
He pushed her against the wall again, as if to urge her to
believe his words. Then suddenly, he let go of her and left
the mansion quickly. Rogue heard the engines of his Harley
as she still leaned against the wall, panting. Trembling,
she went to the table to sit down. She shivered and the milk
ran over the glass she was still holding and over her hand.
She looked at her hands, she was wearing gloves. It was midnight
and when she had went downstairs, she hadn't expected to meet
anyone. But she had put on gloves nonetheless, out of habit.
She tore at the fabric disgustedly, frantically. Then she
looked at her bare, trembling hands and started to sob, clutching
the shreds of her gloves to her chest.
He had no clue what she was going through! He didn't know
what it was like to live a life deprived of human contact,
with a responsibility for everyone you meet, a responsibility
to not touch them, to not let them touch you. Because you're
dangerous, because you might hurt them. Because your 'special
gift' is no blessing. A curse? Sometimes. A responsibility?
Always, always, ALWAYS! You are an X-Man, you have to use
your powers to help people, not to hurt them. Who cares what
happens to you in the progress? As long as you're not harming
someone else... But she HAS touched people before. Before
she joined the X-Men and even then, before her power became
Rogue remembered the time she had spent with Mystique. She
had been little more than a weapon back then, an assassin,
a terrorist. A young woman with her whole life ahead of her.
A girl fond of her life. A girl that touched people without
fear, without feeling ... responsible. But that is what Xavier
had taught her: With great power comes great...
Everything that isn't crazy, passionate, uncontrolled love
is a waste of time. Remy's words still rang in her head. She
thought about the date she had planned with Colossus. Had
he known? Or did Remy know her good enough to predict her
actions? That jerk! Not everybody can live the life he wants
to live, get on his Harley and just leave whenever he wants
to. You have to play the cards life deals you, you can't just
do whatever you want, without ... responsibility.
Anger still boiled in him when he entered the apartment in
New York he owned for the need of a place to withdraw from
the superheroism. That pigheaded femme! She would throw away
her life in a desperate attempt to sacrifice what was left
of the woman he had fallen in love with for a nonexistent
greater good. But well, he wasn't in the place to bother anymore.
Good luck, Petey, or whoever will take his place.
He went to the bathroom to take a cold shower, to get a cool
head again. Due to his thief-sensitive ears he heard a knock
on the door. A towel around his hips and water still dripping
from his hair, he went to open the door. There she was, all
beautiful and ...perfect. It took all his mental strength
to pull himself together and keep up his stony look and not
draw her close and...
"Hi" that was all she said.
Gambit said nothing, he just stepped aside to let her enter.
Inside, she turned around to look at everything.
"How did you know about dis place?"
She smiled and tipped on her temple.
"You don't have much secrets left from me."
Gambit thought it wise to not comment this statement and
"So, what c'n I do for ya?"
She slowly stepped closer, looking at her feet, till she
stood right in front of him. Then she looked up and their
eyes met. Rogue smiled.
"Ah don't wanna waste mah time."
Rogue laughed breathlessly as she ran into the woods, pulling
Remy with her. At first, she hadn't been too fond of his plans
for the evening, starting with a highway chase with the local
police. Remy was a fast driver and he was too fond of his
driver's license to give it away so easily. The cops would
have to be faster to get it. They weren't. At the beginning,
she had been furious, only staying on his Harley because she
feared that he would lose control over the machine when she
would suddenly fly off and startle him. Then, the adrenaline
rush had overcome her and the chase had become an adventure.
No responsibility. Rogue giggled.
After having given them the slip, Remy had headed towards
the public festival in Salem. Rogue remembered having felt
like a little girl, enraptured by the lights, the glamour,
the atmosphere. They've had fun, had rides on the merry-go-rounds,
finally the Ferris wheel. This had been her favorite when
she'd been a little girl, before her powers, before being
able to fly. To gain new vistas, to be free, alone in the
sky, like a bird. It had been then that she'd leaned against
Remy, relishing the freedom, the nothingness. Free of all
bonds. Without using powers. Being normal. Without responsibility...
Then, they had driven by a beautiful lake that was privately
owned. Remy had simply climbed over the fence and then gallantly
bent a piece for his woman to get over it. When they had just
been relishing the view, the alarms had went off and they've
had to flee. And now they were running through the woods,
laughing like teenagers. Out of breath, they stumbled and
fell on the ground, staying there for a few seconds, catching
their breath and admiring the stars above them. Rogue rolled
onto her stomach and cupped her chin in her palm. Remy thought
she had never looked more beautiful than in this moment, a
sparkle in her eyes and the moon shining on her tousled hair.
The image reminded him of some dreams he's had of her, but
in these, they hadn't lain on the ground but ... somewhere
else, though, in some of them ...
"What are y'all thinking of sugar?" The woman in question
asked, her eyes twinkling.
"Not'ing, chère." He grinned mischievously.
"Oh, Ah can see as much..." She pretended to be annoyed,
starting to wrestle with him in friendly competition.
They walked through the woods, though Rogue was rather dancing.
Her arms spread out she spun around humming a melody only
she could hear. Remy looked pleased and followed her. She
faced him and a seductive grin appeared on her face. She neared
him slowly and looked up at him with her deep green eyes.
"Do you know where we are?" She asked innocently.
Remy looked around confused. Several cars were parking on
a clearing with a beautiful view on the city. But the passengers
shouldn't be able to see much of that view, considering how
steamed up the windshield and the windows were. Remy remembered
the many many times he had taken girls to spots like this
and grinned. But they were fading compared to this night.
He walked up to Rogue who stood at the edge of the clearing,
watching the lights of the city. He came to a halt behind
her, encircling her with his arms. Rogue leaned her back against
"Ah nevah was at a place lahk this. Ah heard girls talk about
it, but Ah was nevah there mahself. Then, Ah hoped Ah could
be someone else, to break out, even before mah powers."
"Why 'aven't ya done it?"
Rogue chuckled. "What would they have said? You have ta play
yoah part. It sometimes made me wanna scream."
"Yes!", here eyes lightened. " Scream with all my might,
so that even the gods would have to notice me!"
Remy grinned. "Why don't ya now?"
He hushed her by laying his gloved finger on her lips. "Scream."
Rogue closed her eyes, then looked upwards into the dark
sky. She took a deep breath and screamed like Remy had never
heard anyone scream before. Not in agony or fear, but in pure
liberation. The scream broke her shells and everything that
had ever restricted her flooded out of the cracks, leaving
behind a free woman. She screamed out her crimes, she screamed
out her disappointment, she screamed out her anger, she screamed
out her powers. She screamed out her responsibility.
Suddenly the driver's door of one of the parking cars opened
and a young man with tousled hair and unbuttoned shirt climbed
out. He was definitely angry.
"Hey, you morons, whaddaya think ya doing there?" he asked,
stepping closer slowly. Rogue blushed and shut up.
Remy put on his most charming grin. "Screamin'." he answered
simply. Then, he too stepped closer till he opposed the shorter
boy. Their eyes locked, Remy opened his mouth and screamed
him right in the face. Then the Cajun grabbed Rogue's hand
and pulled her with him, still screaming, leaving behind a
stunned boy standing on the clearing sheepishly.
They ran through the woods, still screaming. Screaming out
guilt, screaming out pasts, screaming out distrust. Then they
stopped, leaning against a huge tree breathlessly. Rogue looked
up to meet Remy's eyes and smiled lovingly.
"Ah think they noticed us."
He looked at her confused. She cast her eyes upwards.
"The gods..." she whispered, embracing herself. A lonely
tear slipped over her cheek. She had broken out. She was free.
Remy took her in his arm, staring into her eyes intently.
She met his gaze and didn't recoil from their closeness. Good.
His gloved finger ran over her cheeks, following the trace
of the tear. Rogue felt hypnotized by his strange eyes and
couldn't break lose. She didn't know if she wanted to. As
he continued to caress her face, she felt as if to lose herself
in him and in this moment. It seemed so unreal and at the
same time she felt as if it was finally right, like it should
have always been.
At first, she couldn't make out the difference, then she
felt it. The finger on her cheek was no longer gloved. She
gasped in surprise and automatically tensed. She wanted to
break away from his embrace, but his arms encircled her like
iron bonds. Normally she would have been stronger than him,
but his eyes seemed to freeze her in this place, eradicating
every reasonable thought in her mind. She could just think
of the feeling of his skin on hers.
Slowly, he bent over and kissed her lightly on her mouth.
With great effort, he broke of the kiss Rogue hadn't been
able to respond and looked at her again. He knew he would
destroy everything if he was too fast now, so he waited, suppressing
his passion. Rogue trembled and stared at him wide-eyed. Then,
the realization struck and a smile of pure joy crossed her
face. She sobbed and threw herself into his embrace, burying
her face in his chest.
Remy sighed and thanked the gods for having answered his
prayers. He took in the scent of Rogue's hair, felt her fingers
clutching at his shirt and her tears wetting it. What he had
told her in the kitchen earlier this evening had been true.
He wasn't Prince Charming, but he would do anything for her.
And an effort out of love was more valuable than every dream
Remy smiled down at the woman he loved more than anything.
No, they wouldn't waste time.
I hope you liked. And I hope you liked
to see the Rogue we've all been waiting to see again ;)
Comments, criticism,... to KazeRogue@hotmail.com
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