DISCLAIMER: The X-Men belong to Marvel Comics. This is an unauthorized use of the X-Men. I am not making any money off of this so please don't sue me. This fanfic is copyright by me, Link.
There was no real inspiration for this story. I am just studying for the GRE this summer. My roommate told me I needed to write a sentence for each vocabulary word I was memorizing or a story. As you can see, I opted for the story. If you see a problem, like wrong usage, please be nice and email me about it.
Special thanks goes out to Deny Coughlan for his invaluable assistance.

Breakfast Imbroglio
by Link

All he ever wanted was some peace and quiet. Was that so much to ask? To have one halcyon morning without having to deal with any knavery from the far too jocund bunch of losers that they were. As much as he loved the camaraderie of his teammates, there were times they really got on his nerves. Their cheery morale was enough to debilitate a cantankerous soul like himself and turn him into an effete old man.

He slammed the door of a newly-purchased refrigerator closed and tossed the hapless bowl on the table. Nice picture, he thought. He took note of a purple cow stuck with a magnet to the metal door. A quick whiff and the unusual coloring told him the artist was Scott, or Rogue had some really bizarre coloring ideas. Colors were never Scott's forte. At least the drawing brightened up the kitchen, which was as pallid and lackluster as it could ever get.

His senses told him to expect unwelcome company. Bobby sauntered in with his ebullient smile. "Hey, Wolvie. What's happening?" He headed over to the mostly empty cabinets and started searching nosily for something to eat.

He grumbled back a hasty good-morning while rapaciously eating the cereal from the box. Just great. The last thing he wanted was to have breakfast with Iceman. He was already in a bilious mood and he could feel the hackles rising from Drake's abrupt intrusion into his domain.

Unaware of the imminent danger Bobby had placed himself in, he slapped Logan on the back and made a grab for his cereal box. "Don't hog all the munchies."

"No," Logan roared. He gave an obstreperous growl and gripped the box tighter.

"Find yer own, bub. This is mine." Bobby was getting absolutely nothing. Not even a tiny crumb. So he had better find something else to eat.

"C'mon. Give some here. There's nothing else to eat. I'm starving," he whined. He made another reach for box and missed. "Have you forgotten the concept of sharing or did you miss that lesson in kindergarten?"

"I said go find yer own," he snarled again.

"Fine. Be that way."

Logan had only a fraction of second to react when the air suddenly turned chilly, but he was too late. An amazing quantity of ice miraculously appeared under his seat and sent him leaping out of his chair with a yelp.

"Thank you very much. You are too kind," Bobby said with a smug smirk as he proudly took the cereal box and poured some into a bowl.

Logan rubbed his shorts which were soaked from the rapidly melting ice and glared at the callow youth. Except for him, such temerity was not allowed by anyone in his book. Even if Bobby was only joking around, that was no excuse to steal a man's breakfast. The fatuous trick was tantamount to a direct challenge to his manhood and Bobby was delusive if he thought he was getting away with it. Plus he was still hungry.

"Give that back, ya little runt."

"Runt? Excuse me, but who's the short one here." He made a quick retreat with his bowl and left the empty box discarded on the floor.

Logan approached, displaying his martial skills and baring all teeth.

Somewhat nervous, Bobby edged away from him. "Chill out, midget-man. It's only food. Sam should be back with more so you can stuff your face all you want then."

Logan only growled and unsheathed his bony claws. Bobby's jocular garrulity wasn't going to save him now and his egregious name-calling only made things worse.

Logan was going to obliterate that grin from his obnoxious face and deal out some harsh castigation. He ran and lunged after him.

"Hey, watch it! You're going to poke someone's eye out with that." Bobby formed his ice slide and raced out of the kitchen with Logan close behind him.

"Get back here!"

"Out of the way. Mad dog loose," Bobby shouted. He sledded past one startled and bemused Dr. McCoy.

"My stars and garters," he cried out as Logan jostled him to the ground.

"Sorry, Hank," he shouted back. He had to stop Drake before he go out of the mansion. Once he was outdoors, Logan could forget about getting his cereal back. Iceman's ice slide would take far out of his reach. That left Logan only one tactical option: cut off his exit.

Distracting Bobby with a tossed houseplant, he raced past him to the main door and stood his ground. Still moving at a high speed, Bobby couldn't alter his course fast enough to avoid the on-coming collision. Logan timed his speed and made a leap after him.

Unfortunately for him, Bobby was more adept than Logan imagined him to be. He successfully jumped out of the way as Logan was about to grab him and he managed to do that without spilling any of the cereal. As for Logan, he sailed right pass him and crashed into the stair banister.

Bobby winced as he surveyed the damage. "Aah. That's gotta hurt."

Logan lifted his head and found Bobby grinning. That only worsened his implacable temper. "Why you little--" He got up from the wreckage and charged after him with hands out ready to strangle him.

"Yikes!" he yelped and created another ice slide.

The chase went on for another fifteen minutes. With Bobby's illimitable supply of ice and Logan's healing factor, they covered nearly every area of their capacious home. In that amount of time, they ran into two of the team's neophytes and escaped unharmed from the third. Well, almost unharmed. The third was Marrow. They also managed to knock down three chairs, one bookcase, two doors, and smashed one coffee table.

The coffee table Logan didn't feel too bad for. It was the ugliest piece of furniture he'd ever seen. What was Warren thinking when he bought it?

It wasn't until they reached the upper levels of the mansion, toward the attic, that their chase came to an end.

"By the Goddess. What is going on here?"

"Uh oh. Mommy caught us." Bobby made an abrupt stop, sending Logan crashing into him.

Ororo only frowned and folded her arms. She did not look pleased. Even worse, she started tapping her foot. "I expected better behavior from the two of you. Not this." She turned her head toward the catastrophe they created. Pools of water were gradually forming from the melting ice and broken furniture laid scattered across the hallway. Logan could imagine her calculating the costs in her head. Their destructive act coupled with their impecunious situation made a bad combination.

Her eyes narrowed and she spoke slowly, "I do not care who started it, nor do I want to hear reasons behind it. I want the both of you to clean up your mess, immediately. Do I make myself clear on this matter?"

Logan had to accede to Ororo and muttered a sorry. He was obligated to show deference to his long time friend. Bobby also apologized while he held the cereal bowl triumphantly in his hand like a prize.

"Uh, Storm. Could it wait until after breakfast? I want some milk for my cereal," Bobby asked as he glanced over to Logan. He even stuck out his tongue at him. He smirked. He's got him this time and he could finally wipe off that silly grin. "Don't bother, bub. There ain't any milk. Yer jus' gonna have ta eat it dry."

"What? You mean I went through all that and there's no milk?" Bobby cried unhappily. "There is no justice in this world."

"Maybe not for you," he chuckled. "Maybe not for you."

The End

-(main) - (biography) - (discussion) - (stories) - (pictures) - (links) - (updates)-