X-Men belong to Marvel. Charlotte belongs to me.
For entertainment purposes only.
Sequel to 'Gesture of Love or Hair Today, Gone
With a groan, Bobby Drake rolled over in his bed to bury his face
in the pile of pillows.
A soft laugh, quickly hushed, intruded only for a moment in his foggy
brain. Something tickled the sole of his foot, gliding gently, teasingly
up the portion of his leg exposed by the sheet.
"Bobby." The voice was almost a whisper.
"C'mon, Icecube," a louder, more familiar voice nagged at him. "If
ya get caught here, someone's gonna be history."
"Hmm," he mumbled, curling himself up into a ball.
"Like, it's been fun, but now it's wakey time."
Huh? his befuddled brain demanded.
Snickers roused him a little more. He opened one eye carefully.
The first thing he noticed was he not in his own bed. Or in his own
room. This didn't even look like the mansion.
The second item that caught his eye was a screaming yellow coat tossed
carelessly on a chair by the bed.
The third impression was the two young ladies by the door, wearing
pajamas and amused expressions.
The implications of where he was hit him like a ton of adamantium
bricks. Oh... my ... god ... Logan was gonna kill him.
He threw back the sheet to run, then screamed when he got a good
look at himself, a brief flash going unnoticed in his shock. He pulled
the sheet back over himself as quickly as possible, glancing around
like a cornered fox confronted by a pack of hunting dogs.
"Nice undies ya got there, Bobster," Jubilee smirked. "I always liked
animal prints. Keep 'em, I don't want 'em back after this. The collar
was nice touch, too."
One hand went to his neck to find a thick leather strap, and did
it have metal studs?
"What am I doing here?!" he demanded, trying to get out of bed and
keep his cover. "What are you doing here?!"
"I live here," she said, "I don't know what yer doing here." She
caught herself. "Oh, that's right, I do know why yer here, an' it's
time to be leavin'."
Yanking hard on the sheet -- the damn thing was caught on something
-- he ripped it in his struggles. The girls got a good look at nicely
"Been workin' out?" Jubilee asked. Paige whistled with an evil twinkle.
"Where are my clothes?!" Bobby's voice rose in panic.
"Haven't seen them."
"I need something to wear!"
"I think ya got all my clothes that yer gonna to get. Ya just ripped
my favorite sheets!"
"Oh, damn!" He wanted to sit down and cry for mercy
"We have guests coming down the hallway," Monet added, giving Bobby
a considering look. "Better get him out of here before someone sees
"Guests!" Bobby moaned into the pillow he swiped up to hide as much
of him as possible.
"Must be Wolvie, he said he'd was gonna stop by today," Jubilee grinned.
"Whaddaya mean Drake's in there!?!" Logan's voice growled down the
hallway, followed by sounds of popping claws.
With a scream, Bobby dove out the open window, followed by several
more flashes of light.
A moment later, Logan stuck his head in the door. "Ya get 'em, darlin'?"
From a dark corner, Charlotte smiled at him, and held up the camera.
"Sure did. Pictures from start to finish. Teach him to pull a prank
"Can I get copies of those?" Emma asked. She found the entire episode
hilarious, more so than when Charlotte laid out the plan and asked
"Me, too," Jubilee chimed in. "Call it rent for usin' my room."
"Copies will be available soon," Charlotte assured them, "for everyone
who wants them." Get Bobby good for substituting the tanning lotion
with regular lotion. She'd just finished shedding a layer of dead
skin because of that sunburn.
Logan scratched an itch on his chest absently -- regrowing hair was
a bitch to deal with -- and went to the window in time to see Bobby's
car disappear down the drive to the front gate. "Did we have to leave
his keys in the car?" he asked.
"Yes, we had to," Charlotte told him. "He needed a getaway car, and
I put his clothes in there, too."
"Umm," Jubilee spoke up, "we thought ya let him off too easy--"
"You mean you thought they were," Paige interrupted her.
"--so we took 'em."
Emma blinked. "Robert is now driving to God-knows-where, dressed
only in Jubilee's animal print panties and a studded dog collar?"
"We just have to hope he doesn't get stopped by the police."
"No, we don't," Logan growled.
Three days later, Bobby entered the rec room and blinked twice before
letting out a brief yell. Framed and mounted on the wall were posters
of him dressed in those damned panties, vainly trying to hide behind
a pillow and then that humiliating dive out a window.
He rushed over to pulled them down off the wall, only to find they
were nailed into the plaster.
Giggles behind him brought back the memory of that horrible morning.
Turning around, he found Charlotte, Jean, Rogue and Ororo each waving
smaller prints of the horrible, embarrassing pictures.
"Gonna learn, Bobby," Rogue drawled at him, "ya can't be prankin'
on folks all the time."
"Yup, Cubeboy," Charlotte taunted, dangling one at him.
"I like that one," Jean pointed at the poster that showed him from
his best angle. "That one can go on the school's next brochure. Can
you imagine all the young girls that would jump at the chance to be
here with you?"
Bobby nearly sobbed. "We don't have brochures," he reminded her,
trying to grab the pictures away from the women.
"For this, we can make a small exception," Ororo smiled. "I imagine
some of the young men would also be interested in making your acquaintance."
He managed to snag all the prints. "Where are the negatives?!"
Charlotte gave him an evil smile. "Logan's got them. He's having
prints made to send to Excalibur."
Hell had finally frozen over.
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