Disclaimer: Robert L. Drake and Cecilia
Reyes belong to Marvel. The Ninja Iceman idea was a bad one, made
by Toy Biz. Don't blame me. I just wrote the thing.
Archiving: Could be good. Feel free.
Iceman: The Ninja
Bobby Drake sat on the floor in the living room of the Xavier mansion,
stitching diligently. His back hunched. His arms hard at work. His
legs in that 'Indian-style' position he learned back in kindergarten.
His teeth gritted. If there was anything he had learned in his time
away from the X-Men, it was how to sew, and nothing was going to stop
him from reaching his goal.
Well, almost nothing...
"Drake, what in God's name are you doing?" came the loud voice of
Dr. Cecilia Reyes from the doorway.
"Sewing," Bobby replied, continuing to work.
"Because my costume's dirty, and I need a new one."
"What's wrong with your other costumes?"
"And, that's bad because...?" She took a few steps closer to him
and looked down at his work.
"I just wanted a change. Something new. Something different. Something
"Something like a ninja costume."
"Someth...uh, yeah, that's it."
"Bobby, you're making a ninja costume."
"Cecilia, I know."
"Why a ninja? Why not a policeman? A firefighter? A pro-wrestler?
"Hey, it works for Betsy, doesn't it?"
"She's also a trained marital artist, and her mind was swapped with
that of an Asian woman, giving her the body of one!"
"Point," Bobby said, slowly standing up.
"Do you even know any martial arts?"
"Do you have any Asian blood in you, not that it really matters?"
"Well, back in X-Factor, I dated an Asian girl, but I'd like to forget
her and her really big pants."
"Have you ever had your...wait. Did you just say 'really big pants?'"
Dr. Reyes was stupefied. Ninja costumes were one thing, but really
big pants were just unheard of. Who'd wear such a thing? She had to
sit down, so she did.
"And, I neglected to mention her skull-shaped earrings. She left
me for her cybernetic, poetic cousin."
"You're so full of it, Drake," she stated, as she propped her legs
up on the couch where she was sitting.
"No. I'm serious. Ask Hank. Or Jean. Or Warren. Or even Scott. They'd
"You better believe it." Drake stood up, turned around, and looked
at Cecilia straight in the eyes. "So, whatcha think?"
Reyes looked him over once and said, blandly, "I think you've been
watching too many Jackie Chan movies."
"C'mon, doc! When was the last time you saw a ninja look this cool?"
"When was the last time you saw a therapist?"
"Wait a second. Would this help?" Iceman started shifting through
a pile of what seemed to be old costumes that laid on an adjacent
chair, and Dr. Reyes was scared, to say the least. She had no idea
what he might be searching for in this state, and she wasn't sure
she wanted to know until he pulled out...
"A mask? A black mask... I gotta admit it, Bobby, you put a lot of
thought into this. At least no one will know that you're the Super
Ninja Ice Doofus right away. So, really, did you eat some bad clams
or something? Maybe you stayed up all night, watching a Karate Kid
marathon? Wax on, wax off, right? Or, maybe you were just watching
too much of that cooking show. What's it called? Iron Chef?"
Iceman sighed, turned away, created an ice slide below his feet,
and left, yelling, "we'll just see what the other guys have to say!"
Cecilia laughed, grabbed the remote, turned on the television, and
began her quest to find something weirder than what she had just witnessed.
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