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 Rogue: What do you have, Hank?
 Beast: Not a lot. But if my calculations are correct, this button 
        should--
 Rogue, sent flying against the wall: *woulph*
 Beast: --Make things worse. Whoops. (Uncanny X-Men #342)
 There comes a time 'twixt life and death
 When all men stop to catch their breath.
 We ask the stars 'Why?', we question our lot,
 The heavens open wide and reply, 'Why not? (X-Men #11)
 Wolverine: "Quit babblin', McCoy and duck!"
 Beast: "I must object to the use of the word 'babbling'. OK, 
        so maybe I was rambling...but babbling? I don't even know how 
        to babble." (X-Men #9)
 Cecilia Reyes: "Theoretical physics and basic anatomy. 
        I'm impressed."
 Beast: "You should see me play Pictionary."
 Cecilia Reyes: "Sure, maybe after we get it ou -- *gasp* 
        You -- You're an animal...?"
 Beast: "It's not 'animal,' miss, it's 'Beast' ... a 'Beast' 
        which happens to know a thing or two about the dynamic application of 
        nano-effusive devices. Animal is a Muppet. (X-Men #70)
 Beast: Trish, get behind me! I should be strong enough to 
        protect you from this debris ... unless ... unless it hovers in mid-air?
 Trish: You're good. (Uncanny X-Men #341)
 Cecilia Reyes: "<eating breakfast> I'd like to examine 
        you with it later, too--"
 Beast: "Why, doctor! How forward of you!"
 Cecilia Reyes: "Ulp. Examine it ... it ... with you ... That's 
        what I said ... 'It.'"
 Beast: "Whatever the lady says. In the name of scientific 
        research, all parts of me are at your beck and call, doctor." (X-Men 
        #70)
 "You forgot you're dealing with the X-Men. We're held together 
        on levels you can't even imagine." (Uncanny X-Men #350)
 Trish: So you're not scared then?
 Beast: No. You?
 Trish: Very.
 Beast: Me, too. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
 "Follow me, everyone -- I know the way! I met a guard who 
        was nice enough to tell me where Magneto's command center is. Then I was 
        nice and helped him pick up his teeth." (Source unknown)
 Joseph: Arrgh! Please... stop ... immediately! I feel ... 
        I feel ...
 Beast: Carsick? (Uncanny X-Men #350)
 Dark Beast: "Stars and garters, man! Use the brain 
        with which you were blessed! I'm the real McCoy, he's the imposter!"
 Beast: "ENOUGH! Stars and garters -- indeed! You may kidnap 
        me. You may bamboozle my friends. You may even try to kill me, but ... 
        when you steal an idiom which I worked so hard to coin ... you have stepped 
        WAY over the line!" (X-Factor #126)
 Quick, jot this down... "The Danger Yard!" TM Hank McCoy 
        and Jubilation Lee. I'm telling you, "J," We copyright 
        this baby, and you and I can blow this taco stand. (Uncanny X-Men #308)
 Vera, pulling Hank from dressing room): That's a good boy 
        Hank! I'll bet you look SO sexy!
 Hank: <sigh> The things I do for love...
 (Hank emerges, his hair spiked, he is wearing a green tweed jacket, 
        a short tie with a spider on it, a plaid shirt and tight purple slacks.)
 Hank: I look ludicrous! I don't even play a musical instrument.
 Vera: Oh Hank! You look fantastic! Like Elvis Costello with muscles.
 Bobby: I don't know! He kinda looks like "What if Magilla 
        Gorilla attended a rock concert?" (X-Factor #5)
 Trish: But can I tell you something? If I was going to get 
        blown up in outer space with anybody in the universe? It would be you.
 Beast: National news anchor women ... always know the right thing 
        to say. (Uncanny X-Men #345)
 "I exhausted my supply of hope about two o'clock this morning. 
        All that's left is anger, frustration, and an overwhelming desire to cram 
        355 lbs. of blue fur down Stryfe's throat!" (Uncanny X-Men #296)
 Cyclops, pulling Beast out of the bathtub: Guess we've 
        all *urn* been on edge this *umph* past week. *urmp*
 Beast: I blame myself. What with having been replaced by a homicidal 
        maniac and me not telling anyone.
 Cyclops: I guess someone *hmrp* should have noticed.
 Beast: To be honest, Scotty, I've had my head buried so far 
        up my lab for the past few months, I'm not suprised anyone... OW! 
        I think you're going to have to consider blasting the tub.
 Cyclops: I've already trashed my alarm clock. Jean'll 
        kill me. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
 If I had a nickel for every catatonic body down there, I'd have 
        fifteen cents, but that's besides the point. (source unknown)
 Beast: Gambit, be an amigo and change our course so that 
        Cerebro--the trademarked mutant detection system--might better pinpoint 
        our woebegone winged wonder.
 Gambit: Hang a left or a right?
 Beast: Left.
 Gambit: You couldna' just said dat, mon ami? (Uncanny 
        X-Men #338)
 Beast: Anyone object to a round of grace?
 Iceman: Go ahead, Hank.
 Beast: Um...In words of one syllable: "Thanks. For everything." 
        Amen.
 Gambit: Dat was three syl--
 Wolverine: Clam it, Cajun.
 Jean: Gambit, don't you dare throw that pancake! (Uncanny 
        X-Men #337)
 Cyclops: "I believe you people have something that 
        belongs to us?"
 Gambit: "Short li'l fella."
 Jubilee: "All adamantium and attitude. He's one of a kind. 
        We'd like him back."
 Beast: "Not to mention our resident psionic Japanese-by-way-of-Britain 
        ninja. You can imagine how hard they are to replace." (X-Men 
        #7)
 Aren't we all children at heart? Myself? I can never 
        pass up a game of tag. (X-Men #6)
 Beast: Ahhh, does this bring back memories! Henry 
        "the Beast" McCoy, star of my high school gridiron! The legendary 
        starting fullback! The fame! The glory! The adulation of the masses!
 Iceman: *ulp* Hankster, that was before you weighed in at 
        300 pounds! (Uncanny X-Men #308)
 Hey, in case I haven't mentioned it yet--in words of one syllable--It 
        is good to be home. (Uncanny X-Men #337)
 Sabretooth: Quite the tea party ya got here, Matsuo. Ya startin' 
        a collection o' X-Men, or just holdin' a mutant clearance sale?
 Beast: If you hired this guy for his sense of humor, it might not 
        be too late to get your deposit back. (X-Men #6)
 Cecilia: "Those two disgusting slugs of yours devoured half 
        my medical books! Then went for dessert in my underwear drawer!"
 Maggott: "*snicker*"
 Cecilia: "There is nothing funny about this!"
 Beast: "No ... Not unless you process the visual, doctor ... 
        Then it's a riot." (X-Men #79)
 Beast: The idea is we scan until we find the right frequency 
        we need to separate the "techno" from the "organic" which the Phalanx 
        need in order to maintain their individual remote bodies.Gambit: How much longer?
 Beast: Five minutes ... Three with my fingers crossed. All we 
        need to do between then and now is to keep a low profile.
 Joseph: ENOUGH!! I cannot abide by this conflict a moment longer!
 Phalanx: Kikt ... A human hidden among the refuse, how? Joseph:We 
        are much more than human, Phalanx! We are Homo Superior! We will stand 
        against you where other, lesser races have fallen!
 Gambit: "Low profile", eh?
 Beast: OR ... Joseph could snap and bring the wrath of the entire 
        Phalanx dominion around our ears. Whichever happens first. (source 
        unknown)
 Iceman: Hank, I almost forgot to ask, where's Trish Tilby 
        today? Out on anouther ultra-dagerous reporting assignment again?
 Beast: Perhaps she's with your erstwhile lady-love Opal...since 
        I don't see her here amongst the revelers, either, eh, Robert?
 Beast & Iceman: We really have to get a life! (X-Men 
        #30)
 "Woe, it pains me to do so, but it is my obligation to bestow upon 
        you this sage wisdom ... Take a quarter to the corner and buy yourself 
        a clue, Cecilia. You're out of your gourd." (X-Men #75)
 "Maybe you're confusing me with someone else, eh? People are 
        always confusing me with Tom Cruise." (X-Men Prime)
 Bones: "What the heck are you -- people -- doing here?
 Beast: "There is actually quite an appropriate explanation 
        for this, sir! Perhaps we might be afforded the opportunity to elaborate 
        upon our motivation for--"
 Bones: "Does he ever shut up?"
 Storm: "I have not seen that, no."
 Beast: "You're going to help Gambit?"
 Bones: "Of course. I'm a doctor, dammit -- not the head of 
        security! Right now this man needs medical attention. Nurse Chapel! I 
        need 10 milliliters of cordazine. NOW!
 Nurse: "But we don't have any patients right n--Doctor McCoy?!"
 Bones & Beast: "What?" (Star Trek/X-Men)
 Every time I hear myself called by my formal title -- I fight the urge 
        to shout out, "He's dead, Jim!" (X-Men #27)
 Proclamations of Personal Premeditations for the Impending Year:
 Beast:
 1) Eat fewer Twinkies
 2) Read more 15th Century texts
 3) Cure Legacy Virus (X-Men #73)
 "Why don't you go orally extract embryonic fluid from a hen's 
        egg?" (X-Factor #2)
 Woo, woo! Look at all the happy faces in here! Everyone up for 
        this? O-kay. Maybe not. (Uncanny X-Men #343)
 Threats are of infinitely diminished consequence when there is 
        no true authority to back them up. (X-Men #5)
 Now, Spiral, perhaps you would rather talk this out than 
        persist in the perpetuation of pointless pugilistic pugnacity? (My, am 
        I especially alliterate today, or what?) (X-Men #32)
 Cannonball: "Two sisters in the house an' Ah still 
        forget to knock first--"
 Beast: "Come now, Samuel. We're all adults here. I'm sure 
        this is nothing you haven't seen before. On second thought, I rescind 
        that presupposition." (X-Men #76)
 Beast: Heads up, Creed! If you get all smooshed, you'll 
        shoot my rescue all to h-e-double toothpicks! Quite candidly, with all 
        the bad pressed we genetically challenged have been getting as of late, 
        we could really use the photo-op!
 Graydon Creed: Beast?!
 Beast: Good guess! And here you though we all looked the same!
 Creed: Don't think this garners you any good will, X-Man! 
        If you mutants weren't using this city as a battleground in the first--
 Beast: Save it for the sound bites, Creed! Note to self: Next time 
        I pass by and see this yahoo wannabee player in trouble...? Pass by! (Uncanny 
        X-Men #324)
 J. Jonah Jameson: McCoy--Isn't that Magneto 
        out there?!
 Beast: It...would seem to be, yes.
 Jameson: But...He just saved us all, no?
 Beast: It...would, uh, seem so, yet. Um. Yes. Yes, 
        I would say that, definitely he saved us.
 Jameson: So you're also saying...Magneto is one 
        of the X-Men now...
 Beast: Yes, you could say he is one of the X-Men now. Sort of. 
        In a way.
 Jameson: Look, McCoy, I'm not the kind of guy to look a rescue 
        in the mouth, but don't you think you X-Men have enough of 
        a hard time with public relations as it is, you don't need to go 
        around recruiting evil mutants?
 Beast: Well, sure--when you put it like that... (Uncanny 
        X-Men #339)
 Beast: "Elton, Senator, Professor -- greetings. And 
        a hearty 'sieg heil!' to you, Mr. Creed!"
 Graydon Creed: "Poke fun if you like, Dr. McCoy. I'm--"
 Beast: "--a racist? It would take a more ignorant man than 
        me to argue such a point! Though I confess I didn't recognize you sans 
        your hood and robes. Might I suggest a logo? A burning DNA symbol, perhaps?" 
        (Uncanny X-Men #299)
 "How else am I to get you to treat me 
        like a man of weight and substance unless I act as morally perturbed and 
        angst-ridden as everyone else in this room?" (X-Men Annual #2)
 Beast: Bobby, we seem to have encountered an opponent far mor dangerous 
        than Magneto, more devious than Mr. Sinister, more dastardly than --
 Angel: Hank, give it a rest and give it to me. It's a bow tie, 
        for crying out loud! How hard could it be to figure out?
 Havok: Gee, I don't know, Warren Worthington, society-boy -- Didn't 
        you always used to just wear clip-ons? (X-Men #30)
 Trish: Blue ... I might not be up on all the latest intergalctic 
        battle etiquette, but why are we running away?
 Hank: Actually, the correct term is "strategic withdrawal." 
        (source unknown)
 Marrow: "We're the X-Men. We just saved your sad excuse 
        for a world. You have a problem with this?"
 Beast: "The delivery needs some work, but her heart's in the 
        right place. Well said, kid ... well said." (X-Men #75)
 Hercules: Till next we meet -- may the spires of 
        Olympus shine on thee!
 Beast: And may thy tunic never tear -- or somesuch toodles. (X-Men 
        #59)
 Sabretooth: I'm bein' a good little boy, usin' this flamin' 
        camcorder to pry open the insides o' my head. An' get this one -- Xavier 
        said it would "provide a valuable means of learning to bond with 
        those you have hurt, and better show you the consequences of those actions."
 Beast: In theory, the professor is correct. You have to 
        want it to work, though.
 Sabretooth: Whaddaya want, McCoy?
 Beast: I need you -- lucid and cooperative -- for a briefing tomorrow 
        morning at ten.
 Sabretooth: Oooh! Whaddaya think, yer still an Avenger, McCoy?
 Beast: Hardly. You just have information we need.
 Sabretooth: An' what makes you think I'll give it to you?
 Beast: Because...your choice is either to join the world 
        or fight it. And you haven't been too victorious with the latter, 
        have you? See you tomorrow, then. (X-Men #33)
 Beast: What about you, Sam?
 Cannonball: Actually, I'd love to join y'all. Ah just got a few 
        things to pick up for my brothers and sisters first. *he unrolls a 
        long list* I'm just gonna hop in t'the toy store right quick and pick 
        'em. It shouldn't take 5 minutes. See ya at the restaurant?
 Beast: Riiight. 5 minutes. *whispers to Trish* We'll never 
        see him again. (Uncanny X-Men #341)
 Though we've never discussed it over a warm pillow, my love, I do possess 
        the ability to bench 3,000 pounds. (1993 X-Men/Pizza Hut promotional 
        comics)
 What started out as a simple date between Trish and I somehow ended 
        up here [Nanny's Cave]. Which leads me to the realization there must be 
        something majorly maladjusted with anyone who'd fall in love with me ... 
        irresistibility notwithstanding. (Uncanny X-Men #348)
 Xavier: "Henry -- report!"
 Beast: "'Stars and garters' is the only thing that springs 
        to mind, sir."
 Banshee: "Saints preserve us."
 Beast: "Okay, that, too." (Uncanny X-Men #313)
 "'Yap' is a technical term, I assure you." (X-Men #74)
 Cyclops: So whether we feel comfortable with the situation or not, 
        we have to take him down!
 Beast: Indeed, far be it from us to actually try and talk 
        our way out of this. Why negotiate a peaceful resolution, when 
        x-cessive pugilism would suffice just as nicely, eh? (delivers a roundhouse 
        kick) A feat with my feet could lead to your defeat! 
        (I crack me up.) (The enemy gets up again.) Hmmm...He's still cooking. 
        I do feel like such a heel.
 Cyclops: Hank...
 Beast: Sorry, mon capitan. I promise to approach this pointless 
        battle with renewed attention and maturity. (X-Men #13)
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