Disclaimer: Susan and her show
are mine, the rest is Marvel's.
Image is Everything
"Hello, and welcome to the Susan Smith Show!" the
perky blonde woman chirped, smiling at the audience. "Today,
we will be talking to some super heroines about women's images
in this field!"
Susan gestured to the opening off the stage as a red head
peeked out. A moment later, she strode to her seat and picked
up a microphone. "This is our first guest, Phoenix!"
"Her teammates, Storm, Rogue, and Psylocke, are also
here today!" The other three women, all in uniform, followed
Phoenix onto the stage and settled down into their seats.
"Recently, in Southern Comfort magazine, there
was an article about women super heros and how they are viewed
by the population," Susan informed her guests. "How
do you explain your choices in clothing and hairstyles?"
"What's there to explain?" Psylocke inquired, arching
a purple eyebrow.
"Well... Why such elaborate uniforms? Don't they hinder
you in battle? And why do you wear such a skimpy uniform,
Phoenix shook her head, sending long red tresses flying about
her face. "No, Susan. All of our uniforms are carefully
thought out. As impractical as they may appear to the untrained
eye, they have their uses."
"Oh?" Susan said, urging further explanation.
"My uniform seems to be the one that is most debated,"
Psylocke said with a small shrug. "But really, it allows
free movement. None of those annoying pant legs or sleeves
clinging to me."
"But don't you feel exposed in such a small outfit?"
"Oh. What about you, Phoenix?"
Phoenix stood up, tugging at the golden clip holding her
belt in place. Once free, she held it up for the audience
to see. "This is a vital part of my uniform. It can be
used to stab at someone," she demonstrated by stabbing
the bird's wing into the chair she had been occupying. "Or
as a distraction, a signal, a marker, or a nail file."
Phoenix passed the clip over to Storm before unwrapping her
flowing golden sash. "And this can be used to tie
someone up, bandage a wound, or as a slingshot." She
glanced around speculatively. "Does anyone have a rock?"
"No, no! That's quite all right, Ms. Phoenix!"
Susan gasped out, keeping a smile plastered on her face.
"My arm and leg bands can serve the same purpose,"
Psylocke informed the crowd as Phoenix rewound her sash around
her waist. "I can't count the number of times that these
bands have been all that stood between myself and death."
"What purpose does your uniform serve, Storm?"
Susan asked the as of yet silent woman.
"The streamers at my shoulders can be used to restrain
someone." Storm rose to her feet, passing the sash clip
back to Phoenix as the other woman sat back down. She was
at Susan's side in a moment, the long purple streamer wrapping
around the host's neck.
"I... *wheeze*... see," Susan gasped
out, clawing at the material at her neck.
Storm let the material slacken around the woman's neck and
stepped back. "And these bulky things around my
wrists and ankles serve not only to protect them, but also
as a weapon. If I bring the one on my wrist down upon an enemy's
"No need to demonstrate that one!" Susan replied
quickly, moving back a step.
Storm calmly returned to her seat as Rogue spoke up. "I've
worn three uniforms in the very recent past," Rogue said
with a shrug. "So I'll just give you the benefits of
this one," she gestured at the pinkish purple Shi'ar
suit she was wearing. "You see these yellow things at
my side? That's all padding. I can't even feel a thing when
someone hits my side."
"Well, I see that you're uniforms have been quite well
thought out," Susan said. She was about to move on before
another thought struck her. "Storm? What about
the cutouts in your legs? And leaving your stomach bare? That
can't be explained by ease of movement."
"It allows my skin to breathe," Storm answered
"Oh. Yes, well. What about your hair? All of you have
long hair, which isn't clipped or restrained in any way. As
glorious as that looks, doesn't it whip in your face? Or offer
a tempting mode of attack to your enemies?"
Rogue grinned. "Long hair can be dangerous when used
properly." She tossed her hair over her shoulder,
sending it swooshing out behind her. "A face full of
hair can sting like you wouldn't believe."
"And I have hear stories of people using their own hair
to strange an enemy," Psylocke added, twining a lock
of her own long hair around her finger.
"That's... gruesome," Susan answered, her bright
smile wavering only slightly. "What about hair pulling
on your enemies parts?"
"Never happens," Phoenix shrugged. "I guess
that seems too 'girly' to most of them."
"Still, why don't you tie up your hair? Doesn't it blind
you when you're flying, for example?"
"You get used to it, after a while," Storm said.
"And it looks good, too," Rogue laughed.
Susan nodded and turned towards the camera. "That's
all we have time for today. Next
episode of Susan Smith -- male heroes and the origin of
underwear over the spandex!"
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