Down-Home Charm Photo Album Songbank Fan-Fiction History Books Fan Art Miscellania Links
Fan-Fiction >
Post-Onslaught >
"A Short (and Somewhat Inaccurate) History of the X-Men"

A Short (and Somewhat Inaccurate) History of the X-Men

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve

Generation X Presents:
A Short (and Somewhat Inaccurate) History of the X-Men

Part Seven

Chaos and hilarity continued to reign as a result of Cable's stern denial of his involvement in the Inferno. During this, the 'Nathan baby' doll was jogged out of Paige's hands and chorused "Ma-ma" once more, prolonging the laughter. Finally though, the tears were wiped from eyes and shaking bodies picked themselves up off the floor and back into their seats.

Eventually, Generation X were able to stand back up in some semblance of their earlier poses.

"Ah... ah... oh the pain. Make it stop." Jubilee clutched her sides as she tried to stop laughing. She took a few deep breaths and straightened. "Where were we, oh yeah, the Inferno." another few deep breaths.

"And so Madeline Pryor," Paige stumbled to her feet, "prepared to do battle with her nemesis Jean Grey." Penance watched as the others picked themselves up around her.

"Madeline was severely ticked off because Jean had taken her entire life - her husband, and her child, away from her. Finding out that she was a clone of Jean didn't make her any happier. She was especially upset that her son Nathan had cri... had called... ah ah aha ah... hadcalledouttoJeanforhelpandsoshe triedtokillher." Jubilee took a deep breath, "Phew."

Paige let out a screech and ran over to Penance, and grabbed her shoulders gently. Then she froze.

The audience waited patiently. Nothing happened. After about a minute they began to shuffle around and look at Jubilee expectantly. Jubilee watched Paige and Penance intently. After another two minutes of this, Bobby finally piped up.

"Hey, what's going on."

"Duh, they're battling it out telepathically stupid." said Jubilee. "Ssh, you'll distract them."

Bobby subsided, looking puzzled. Just then all of the watching Generation X gasped in shock, ten seconds later, Paige crumpled to the floor.

"What? What? What happened?" squawked Sam.

Jubilee looked sad, "And so Jean Grey was triumphant over Madeline Pryor, who was killed in their battle."

Paige stood up and dusted herself off as the other members of Generation X crowded around her.

"Wow Paige, that was brilliant," said Skin. "When you hit her with that attack I thought it was all over."

"Yeah, and that block - smooth moves Hayseed."

"Penny you were FANTASTIC! The way you hit her at the end was just... incredible!"

"What are you all talking about?" demanded Emma.

"The telepathic battle of course," said Jubilee. "Weren't you paying attention? And we worked so hard on it!"

Generation X looked completely downcast. Paige looked on the verge of tears.

"Er no, it was great!" said Sean. "Fantastic."

"Well done," agreed Roberto, "Couldn't have done it better myself."

"Excellent work." added Bobby.

"Really?" gasped Jubilee. "Oh, you don't know how much that means to us." Generation X all nodded furiously.

"I think we've been had." said Hank quietly to Jean.

"Oh my yes." she replied with a smile.

Joseph and Gambit started applauding furiously and the others all joined in, many openly grinning at the way they'd been suckered.

Generation X bowed and waved, basking in the applause. They started to move offstage.

"Hang on!" said Jubilee. "Where do you lot think you're going?"

"To... get changed for the next segment?" suggested Paige.

"We haven't finished this one yet." said Jubilee, "Get back to your places."

"But... but the demons are all gone!"

"All but one all too human demon." Jubilee corrected, "Now, places."

GenX took up various poses around the stage.

"Madeline Pryor lay dead, the demons vanquished. All seemed still, but there was one final evil to defeat!"

The lights went out, a spotlight clicked on and a shadowy figure stood towering over GenX. His head seemed shaped strangely like Colossus'.

A gasp rose from the audience. The figure raised its arms and Synch cried out and fell to his knees.

"I... am..." the figure paused...










"MITHTER THINITHTER?" repeated the entire audience in tones of shocked incredulity.

"What, ith there an echo in here?" asked the figure.

The lights clicked back on and Franklin Richards adjusted the square helmet he wore and wobbled on the step ladder.

"Jubes, are you quite sure about the lisp?" asked

Skin in a harsh, carrying whisper.

"Trutht me."

The audience broke up.

"Oh god oh god oh god," Scott panted. "If I ever see him again I'm not going to be able to keep a straight face.


"Now, that's not very polite Jubilee." reproved Sean, before cracking up.

"Ah well, got a laugh didn't it?" Jubilee shrugged. "It just had a nice ring to it I thought. So anyway, Mith... I mean Mister Sinister had revealed himself.

"Yeth... I mean yes!" Franklin piped up. "It was me!

I did it all! I set you up when you were a kid, I ruined your life, nyah nyah nenny nyah! I ate the last cookie in the cookie jar! I alphabetised your files! I broke your glasses and overfed your goldfish, me me me!"

"Why you... you EVIL FIEND!" cried Synch as Scott.

"AND I was the one who recorded over the season finale of Black Adder before you could watch it!"

Cries of "Monster!" from the audience.

Franklin warmed to his role.

"It was me that rang you up at 3 in the morning to ask if your lights were burning! I defrosted your fridge. I swapped your jamaican coffee for instant!"

"AAAH! NOOOO! EVIL EVIL EVIL!" screamed Warren from the audience.

"I was the one who put a crease in your special limited edition issue one of The Special Ones! I took your entire Archie run out of their mylar bags and put em in ordinary ones! I got your cat high on catnip! It was me who put the magnet in with your computer disks! I copied your essays and sold them to other students! I put the itching powder in your shorts! I watered your pot plants with beer! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

The audience booed and hissed.

"And finally," Franklin leant forward. "I created a clone of the woman you loved so that I could get a baby of your genetic material. And what are you going to do about it, huh?"

"GET HIM!!!!!" roared the 'X-Men' and 'X-Factor', launching themselves at Franklin. Skin lunged forward and tripped on his trailing fingers, falling flat on his face. Mondo tripped over him and landed on top of him, bringing M and Leech down with him. Artie jumped in to help and was squished by Paige (now revived and playing the role of Rogue). Franklin raised his arms, "I am triumphant."

"Scott!" squeaked Jubilee in a high voice from behind Penance, who was still being Jean. "We need Scott!"

"I'll get him," said 'Havok' (Jono). He stood in front of Synch, who was kneeling and watching in horror.

"Come on big brother, you've got to stop him!"

"I... I CAN'T!" cried 'Scott'.

"Oh yes you can!" yelled Jono.

"Oh no I can't!"

"OH YES YOU CAN!" yelled Jono and the entire audience.

"Quick, clap if you believe in fairies!" said Jono.

Everyone stared at him. "Sorry, wrong genre." He turned back to Scott.

"Scott, you have to. Come on, think of all the things he's done to you. Don't you even feel a little angry?"

"A bit."

"Hmmm..." Jono shook his head. "I'll just have to annoy you into getting angry then." he leaned forwards. "People who leave their shoes all over the front porch."

"Argh! No!"

"Yes," 'Havok' continued relentlessly. "People who use forks instead of knives, and who don't use napkins"


Scott in the audience was indignant, "I'm not like that!" he complained.

Jono looked at him, "Oh yeah? What about people who change lanes without indicating?"

Scott looked taken aback, "But that's just pure rudeness, and anyway..." Jean patted his hand. Jono turned back to Synch. "Unironed shirts."

Synch moaned.

"Recyclable objects put in with the rest of the garbage."





"It's proNUNciation, proNUNciation!"

"Clip-on ties!"


Jono thought quickly. "Free Willy!"

"Stop it!"

"Read my lips: no new taxes."

"I mean it!"

Jono leant close. "No one can stop me brother. From here on, it's just you... and I."

"You and me. You and ME! IT'S YOU AND ME!!! AAAAAAHHH!! I HATE THAT!!!"

Synch surged upright and threw himself at Sinister.

"NO MORE!!!!!!!"

Franklin was picked up and thrown off the stage. Several X-Men fell over each other to catch him. Franklin waved his fists from Hanks seat. "I'll be back!" he yelled. "You haven't heard the last of.... MITHTER THINITHTER!!!!!"

The audience cheered and applauded as Franklin shook his fists and Synch and GenX shook theirs back.

"And that takes us up to the end of the Inferno!" cried Jubilee. "Back in ten for the next saga of the X-Men!"


Continued in Chapter 8.

Coming soon: Part 8: Australia again and the Siege Perilous


Down-Home Charm / Fan-Fiction / Fan Artwork / History Books / Photo Album / Songbank / Miscellania / Links / Updates

Legalese: Rogue, the X-Men, and the distinctive likenesses thereof are Trademarks of Marvel Characters, Inc. and are used without permission. This is an unofficial fansite, and is not sponsored, licensed or approved by Marvel Comics.
Privacy Policy and Submission Guidelines