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"I know how hard this must be for you. We've been together for a long time, and we've meant a lot to each other." Bobby Drake sighed, staring steadfastly out of the window. He had to look out the window. There was no way he'd be able to go through with this if he turned around. "But... the magic just isn't there anymore. I'm sorry." He leaned his forehead against the window. "I do still care about you, I really do. I just feel that it's time for me to move on. I need to... well, find someone I'm more in tune with. Someone who can share my dreams for the future. Someone... well, not to put too fine a point on it, someone with bigger RAM and better... don't look at me like that!"
The computer gazed soulfully at him with its big unblinking screen.
"I DO still care about you, baby, I really do!" Bobby sat down on the worn old chair and patted the mouse apologetically. "All the good times we've had together... the time we sent Scott's e-mail addy to that SpankMeHard discussion group... the time we convinced the security system that Magneto was living in the refrigerator... that chain letter we sent to every single person who'd ever worn the X, eight times each..." The computer continued to stare reproachfully at him. "And it's not just the things you've done for me - I love your screensavers, your card games, the way you let me win at Minesweeper..."
"HEY, BOBBY! READY TO GO REPLACE THAT WORN OUT PIECE OF JUNK YOU CALL A COMPUTER?!?" Warren roared from downstairs.
"Don't SAY that!" Bobby wailed. He sniffled, wiping his eyes on his hand. "You're not junk, baby, don't listen to him. You just... need another kid to raise up into the world of computing, that's it. You're a teacher at heart, and I promise, I'll find you someone." He hugged the monitor sadly, and stood up. "You'll go to a good home, baby. But right now, it's time for the two of us to say goodbye. I... I'll never forget you!" He stunbled down the stairs, dabbing at his eyes.
At the bottom, Hank put a comforting arm around his friend's shoulders. "I know it's painful, Bobby," he soothed. "Parting truly is 'sweet sorrow,' as the Bard said. But it really is for the best. You need to move on now."
"I know." Bobby snuffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "She'll be all packed up when I get back, right? You'll do it all for me?"
"Of course." Hank steered him gently towards the door. "I'll deal with everything. I've already found a good home for her."
"You have?" Bobby's face lit up. "That's great! Make sure to tell them that she likes to have her monitor turned on AFTER the hard drive, not before, and if her speakers aren't plugged in she gets a bit fussy but she doesn't really like headphones so they shouldn't use those, and don't forget her boot disk, it's labeled carefully, and..." His voice faded away as Warren towed him out the door.
Hank shook his head sadly. "Poor Bobby... it's so hard when they get attached like that. You just have to learn to distance yourself. Not get emotionally involved. Remember that eventually, we all must part."
"So, you're going to replace your old office computer, then?" Scott asked. "Can I have it?"
Hank gave him a Spine-Chilling Toe-Curling Force-Of-Evil Death Glare. "Her name is Cynthia, and if you touch her I'll kill you."