"All Creatures Great and Small"
"Babes in Smallville"
"The Ballad of Trish and Henry"
"Bobby and Hank say 'Farewell, New York' and Other Things"
"Bobby and the Beast"
"Bobby's Casserole"
"Bobby vs. Pat Sajak"
"A Certain Face"
"Confounded Computer!"
"A Day at the Races"
"A Day in the Life"
"Dispensing the Shopping"
"The Early X-Men in Studio 54"
"First, Do No Harm"
"For Remembrance"
"From the Dais with the Closed Coffin"
"The Good of the Many"
"Gunslinger Dreams"
"Heard No More"
"A Homely Touch"
"I Do Not Love Thee, Mr. Twinkie"
"The Lecture"
"Longest Night"
"Love Is Just Another 4-Letter Word"
"Magic Breakfast"
"Making the Call"
"Midnight Twinkie Run"
"Miss April's Stars & Garters"
"The Morning Paper"
"Neon Hearts"
"The No Story"
"Not a Creature Was Stirring"
"The Oath"
"Personal Delivery"
"Point Blank"
"The Power-Whup Girls"
"The Price of Coffee"
"Pygmalion's Silence"
"Rumble in Kitchen Stadium"
"The Shadow Inside"
"The Shi'ar Coffee Story"
"Shoot Me"
"A Friend, Sleeping"
"A Small Addiction"
"Some Assembly Required"
"Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Someone Blue"
"Start Spreading the News"
"Such Sweet Sorrow"
"Tale of the Last Twinkie"
"Never Mess with a Furry Blue Genius"
"The TD2001"
"Tear Sheets"
"A Test of Power"
"Tripping into the Light Fantastic"
"Twenty First Century Guy"
"When in Rome"
"When Tomorrow Comes"
"Written from Purgatory"
"The Wyoming Pie"
"X-Men #75"
"Yummy Yellow White Surprise"
"Zero Degree Celsius"

Ok, the disclaimer thing. All characters in this story except for the employees of Studio 54 and Studio 54 are property of Marvel Comics. The employees are based on real people. Steve Lobel is a real person who died some time ago. May he rest in peace. Studio 54 was real.
Warning: It contains sexual content (though not much and its not that dirty), drugs, subdue homosexual jokes, and a cross dressing man who wears red sunglasses.
Oh and there are a few surprise guest stars in this fic. Try to find out who flirted with our poor Scott.

The Early X-Men in Studio 54

Jean, Warren, Bobby, Hank and Scott were standing outside of Studio 54. They were about to celebrate their graduation with a night out in the most exclusive nightclub in New York City.

"I bet Warren will get in." Bobby said, "He's got a lot of money."

"I do not believe so, Bobby." Hank said as a discouraged Cher walked by them.

"Oh my god! That's Cher!" Bobby eyed the woman and took a picture.

Scott looked down the long wide line uncertain, "I don't know if we should come here. I heard about some of the things that go on here."

Warren slapped him on the back. "Slim, we are the X-Men. We faced all sorts of situations. We fought Magneto, the Sentinels, and even the Blob. We can handle a nightclub."

Scott sighed. "Why did I allow you guys to drag me here?"

Jean looked at him and smiled sweetly. "Because we need someone to stay in control."

Scott allowed himself to return the smile. "Thanks."

The group went up to the entrance. The doorman looked at them. He compared them. The blond man held up some money in front of him. "He's in if he pays me." Warren gave him one hundred dollars.

He looked at the brawny man next to him. "Muscles is in." Hank nodded and walked in.

He looked at the young brown hair man who was eyeing the girls. "A troublemaker definitely." Bobby grinned broadly and followed Hank.

His eyes eyed the red head, he grinned, and "She's in if she takes off her clothes." Jean's face was lined with shock. She smiled and concentrated. The doorman's eyes widened, and he waved her in. "Okay you're in. Just pick up your clothes."

Jean smiled again and walked in.

Scott followed Jean only to get stopped by the doorman's hand. "You can't come in."

Scott alarmed asked, "Why?!"

Doorman thumbed, "We got enough squeaky clean teenagers here. You can't come in."

Scott stammered, "But my friends are in there."

Jean noticed the commotion and said, "Let Scott in."

The doorman growled, "No, he can't come in."

Jean stared at the man in a dangerous way that Scott instantly recognized. "Jean no! Don't use it!" he cried out.

She looked at him. "But Scott..."

"I'll go home. I'll take a cab." Jean wanted to come with her friends but she didn't want to leave him alone. With a sigh, she glanced back inside the club and saw Hank, Bobby and Warren already mingling with the crowd. When she turned her head back to her stranded teammate, Scott had already disappeared. She sighed as she entered the club.

Inside Studio 54, Jean, Hank, Warren and Bobby were astounded at the brightness of the place, with different colors flashing around everywhere. A guy went up to them and offered them some cocaine.

"No thanks." Hank refused.

Jean looked at the crowd; "This is some strange group. Are any of them mutants?" She looked behind her to see that her companions had left her. "Great," she muttered, and burrowed her way into the mass of people.

Scott looked longingly at the club. He secretly wanted to something bizarre. He didn't want to be the too responsible leader all the time. He noticed the bouncer let a couple of men in dresses through the door. He had a crazy idea.

He couldn't believe that he would do something like this. But as he slipped on the wig and put on the gaudy catseye glasses, he knew that it was something he had to do. The dress felt tight against his slim frame. He wrapped his feathered shawl around his neck, and he looked at himself appraisingly in the mirror. He was ready.

Scott Summers stepped out of the bathroom a new man -- or woman, in his case. He wore a curly blonde wig, a gaudy evening gown and the shawl, along with flashy accessories. The wig itched on his head, and the shoes were tight. He'd never thought he'd do anything like this in his short lifetime.

Nervous and self-conscious about his appearance, Scott walked out onto the street toward the nightclub. He clutched his purse tightly as he approached the gates. A man named Steve Lobel had started to pick out people to enter the nightclub.

Steve seemed frustratingly picky, choosing only a fortunate few out of the crowd. Scott wanted to scream. A part of him wanted to shot an optic blast toward him so he could be seen. Finally, Steve yelled out, "The blond with the red sunglasses!"

"That's me," he said to no one in relief. He held his bag of clothes at his side and entered the club.

Inside, bright lights flashed constantly. Scott felt lucky to wear a pair of sunglasses. He stared out when a group of people rushed by him and stole his bag. "My clothes!" Scott yelled as his glasses were knocked over. Suppressing a curse, he kneeled down instinctually and searched the floor for his glasses. He needed his other set of clothes to change into, but he needed his glasses more.

His fingers reached out as he frantically searched the floor blindly. Finally a voice said, "Here you go, miss." The stranger placed the glasses in Scott's hand.

Scott sighed in relief. "Thank you so much." He slipped on his glasses and saw a tall bulky man with silvery hair and a strange scar over his right eye. The man nodded and walked off.

Scott searched the club and decided to find the others and fast.

Bobby Drake was having some beers. His head swam slightly when his eyes picked up a tall blond woman. A cocky grin on his face, he walked toward her. She had a pair of red glasses on and her face was lean. Her bust was big as if it was stuffed, but Bobby didn't care.

The woman looked surprised when Bobby stepped up to her and placed a possessive arm around her waist. "Hello, gorgeous," he said

Scott was stunned by his friend's forward approach. Then, Bobby grabbed him and kissed him on the lips. Scott pushed him away and took several deep breaths. Bobby asked, "Am I too good of a kisser? What is your name?"

Great, Bobby is in love with me. Can't let him know. Scott grinned mysteriously and shrugged.

Bobby took out a piece of paper and wrote his address. "When you get the courage to speak and you can't find me, here is my number." He whispered in his ear, "Call me." Then he kissed him on the cheek.

Scott walked off and put the number in his pocket, shaking his head. Lucky thing I shaved before we left.

Hank McCoy was bouncing up and down the dance floor. His head was swimming in beer. Then, he noticed a fairly attractive blond looking around almost nervously. He grinned and thought, Why not? He made an impressive array of leaps and bounds toward his target. He leapt up on his victim and landed on top of the woman's chest and wrapped his huge legs around the woman's torso. The woman and Hank fell on the ground. Scott grabbed his glasses and kept them on.

Hank said, "Hello, miss. My name is Henry McCoy. But you can call me Hank. What is yours?"

Scott remained silent. Hank put a huge kiss on his lips. Unlike Bobby, who was somewhat weaker than Scott, Hank was stronger than he was, so he couldn't push him out of the way.

After the long kiss, Hank finally got off Scott's chest. Scott took several deep breaths and looked at Hank. Not Hank, too! he thought fearfully. Hank grinned and said, "I apologize if my kiss was too much."

Scott shook his head and smiled. Bad move. Hank grinned broadly and grabbed his arm with his huge hands. After a second, he let go and said, "If you ever go by Westchester, look up Hank McCoy."

Scott nodded and walked off. He sighed in relief. Two of his classmates had flirted with him. I wonder if this is what Jean feels like.

Jean. He had to find Jean. Jean would help him -- after she stopped laughing at his predicament.

He needed a drink. Scott had been walking around the club for nearly an hour looking for Jean. He was getting tired and the heels were killing him. He went up to the bar and said in a quiet voice, "Umm ... one beer please."

The bartender grinned and said, "Okay, sir."

Scott surprised asked, "You could tell?"

"Sure, I know who is a man in a dress and who is a woman. Seen lots of them."

"Oh." he said in realization.

The bartender gave him his beer. Scott had never drank beer before. But after the two kisses from his teammates, he figured there was a first time for everything. Scott reached into his purse and the bartender held up his hand. "The guy in the corner bought you that drink. He told me that if you ordered a drink he'd pay for it." The bartender pointed to a certain blond man in the corner.

Scott looked where the bartender was pointing to see Warren smiling and waving at him. Several empty glasses were sitting around the table. Scott grabbed his beer and gulped it down with a shudder. The bartender asked, "You want me to tell him?"

Scott shook his head. Warren walked up to them, smiled, and paid the bartender for the drink. "Thank you, sir." he said.

The bartender winked at Scott and turned to attend to his other customers. Warren put his arm around Scott's and asked, "So, what's a beautiful woman like you doing in a place like this?"

Scott Summers, you better start beefing up. This is humiliating being mistaken for a woman by three of your friends. Scott worked hard to keep his disgust from showing on his face, instead just grinning helplessly at Warren.

Warren said, "We could go someplace ... private if you like."

Scott scooted back in his stool. He shook his head too embarrassed to say a thing. Warren looked at him and asked, "Are you nervous?"

Scott nodded and did a "Mhmmm."

"Don't worry." he said soothingly, "I won't hurt you." He began to rub Scott's leg.

Scott stood up, grinned, and shook his head again. "Quiet, aren't you?" Warren asked.

Scott nodded. Warren grabbed his gloved hand and kissed it. Warren said, "I understand, baby. Go on."

Scott got off of his stool and walked off. Warren smiled gleefully after him. "Just wait until she finds the surprise I left for her."

Scott walked at a nervous pace into another area of the club. Bobby, Warren, Hank -- Who else would flirt with me?

Then a male voice said out, "Hey, hot stuff!" Scott turned toward the source of the voice to see another blond man, one that he recognized immediately: It was Johnny Storm a.k.a. the Human Torch.

Shit. Scott sighed heavily as Johnny walked up to him.

Johnny said, "So, you ever met a superhero like me?"

Scott shook his head. Johnny said, "Then, this is your first time. I am Johnny Storm; the Human Torch. What's your name?"

Scott just grinned and Johnny said, "Oh, you are one of those shy types."

Scott nodded. Johnny asked as he pulled out a wallet, "Drink?"

Scott nodded again. He needed a drink to survive this experience. Johnny ordered a couple of beers. He looked at Scott and asked, "So, why are you so shy?"

Scott just looked down. Johnny took out a piece of paper and wrote down his number. His hand on Scott's shoulder, he said suavely, "I gotta go. Call me when you feel less shy. Here's something to remind you of me." He grabbed Scott's shawl and kissed him with pure passion. Johnny let go and stood up.

Scott nodded and sighed in relief as Johnny walked off. Better find Jean. At least she won't try to flirt with me in this getup. Even if she did, it wouldn't feel so awkward.

He took a deep breath and searches the place. The strange building was getting stranger. A tall muscular man walked up to him. He had blond hair and blue eyed with bleach white smile. He looked like the ultimate man. He asked, "Hello, miss? My name is Steve. Would you like to dance?"

Scott gulped as the stranger began to dance. They were both awkward with the moves. He decided that enough was enough and whispered, "I'm a man."

Steve stopped and stared. He smiled nervously and Scott continued, "Don't worry. I'm not gay. I am not attracted to you in any way. I was just dressing up as a woman to get into this club."

"Okay, I'm so sorry, Miss- I mean sir." Steve said as he backed off slowly with his hands in the air. He was just as embarrassed about this as Scott.

Scott sighed in relief and said, "That's okay."

He walked off not before hearing another man telling Steve, "You were dancing with another man, Steve."

"Clint. I told you I shouldn't be here."

"Steve Rogers, you should learn about the 1970's. And this place it the spot to be!"

Jean wandered around for a while. The strange assortment of people went around partying. Some are celebrities, and some are ordinary people. She couldn't find her friends although that she heard about a brawny man doing acrobatics blindfolded. Her eyes noticed a woman with a pair of red sunglasses. She noticed Jean and walked up to her. In the flashing lights, Jean could barely recognize her.

She could feel the "woman"'s thoughts, however, and she yelped, "Scott!" in surprise.

Scott smiled embarrassed said, "Er...yes." Jean stared at him and started to laugh. "Slim, honestly I never thought you would do this."

"I did. I wanted to join you and I realized that if I just change my look a little..."

"A little?!"

"Alright, a lot. Don't tell the others about this. How would they feel if they knew that I did this..."

Jean hugged him and said, "I won't tell a soul. But what if the others see you?"

Scott grinned a little, "Actually they did. Bobby flirted with me and gave me his phone number." He handed her a slip of paper.

Jean read: "For a good time call me. 555-8675. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" She bawled in laughter as Scott was smiling himself. She stopped after a while. She asked, "So now you're in. Will you take that outfit off and put on some other clothes? Something your gender?"

Scott looked away and said, "That was my plan. But, some people stole my clothes before I could change into them."

"You mean ... you're ... stuck like this?"

"Until we can go home, and I could change into my clothes. Until then, yes I am stuck like this."

Jean giggled and patted him on the cheek, "Don't worry. I could get you home after we have some fun."

Scott refused, "But Jean, I can't go around looking like this."

"We had done a lot getting in here. We might as well have fun in this place." She kissed him on the lips.

Scott pushed her back, "Er ... Jean, I look like a woman. What will they think?"

Jean replied, "This is Studio 54. No one notices. See?"

He looked around to see everyone getting high and doing all sort of crazy stuff. He smiled, "Well ... we better hold off anyway."

She asked, "Where did you get the outfit anyway? Or did you have a little secret?"

Scott explained, "I bought it at a thrift shop. The wig came from a costume store close by."

"And the makeup?"

"I got it from your other purse."

"It looks good on you."

Warren was eyeing the women at the bar, when a particularly beautiful woman, dressed in a bra and a pair of bell-bottoms, walked up to him. "Excuse me? Want to go down to the basement with me?"

Warren asked, "The basement?"

"Yeah, it is so incredible there. Some of the biggest stars hang out from there."

Drunk, Warren agreed, "Okay, take me there."

She grabbed him by the hand and they went down the stairs past the bouncers. From there, a sudden cry came out, "Wings?! Far out!!!"

Bobby Drake was taking pictures left and right. He saw all sorts of women, and he'd given a blonde with a pair of red sunglasses his phone number. Some part of his mind was telling him that, I wonder ... Where have I seen that blonde before?

He shook off the thought and kept on taking pictures. Then he noticed a fellow superhero, the Human Torch, walk past him.

"Johnny?!" He yelled out.

Johnny looked at him and said, "Bobby! What's a kid like you doing here?"

Bobby said, "Oh really, how old are you?"

"Point taken. Where's the others?"

"I don't know. Scott wasn't allowed in. I lost the others a while ago. I've been getting around finding women. Met this gorgeous, shy, tall, blond."

Johnny said, "Me, too. Red sunglasses. She was shy. Wouldn't say a word, tall though. I snuck her my phone number and a quick kiss."

Bobby asked, "Where's the others?"

Johnny whispered, "I came here solo. Reed and Sue didn't know. Ben didn't want to be seen here. Don't tell them."

"I won't."

A reporter walked up to them and asked, "Are you a couple?"

They both yelled, "No!!!"

Hank McCoy was wowing the audience with his dance moves. While he was not as graceful as Jean, he could do his fair share of acrobatics. He'd had fun dancing and flirting with the women, especially that beautiful blond with the red sunglasses. Something told him he'd seen the woman before. He'd snuck his phone number in her pocket.

When Hank took a brief break from dancing, A guy walked up to him and asked, "Excuse me? Are you gay?"

Hank replied, "I'm most certainly not! I am a heterosexual."

"A what?"

"I'm not gay."

"Bummer, man. You're cute." Hank edged away from him.

Out on the dance floor, Jean and Scott were dancing. Jean couldn't stop grinning. Scott Summers, the man who always follows the rules, is doing something outrageous to get into a club.

Scott looked at her; "This isn't funny."

"Oh yes it is." Jean noticed some other papers in Scott's pocket. "What's this?"

Before Scott could stop her, Jean had the slips of paper in her hands and was reading them aloud. "Henry McCoy? Warren Worthington? THE HUMAN TORCH?!?!"

Scott grabbed the papers; "They were flirting with me. They must've slipped them in my pockets."

"Hmmm ... you must've wowed them."

"Jean, please."

Warren stumbled out of the basement. Fortunately, he'd sobered up a bit. He had bound his wings tightly to his back, but the woman's armorous advances had freed them from their harness. The woman was stoned and had thought that the wings were part of the 'trip'.

Better go back to Jean. He surveyed the crowd briefly. Where's the blond with the sunglasses?

One one of the sidestages, Bobby and Johnny were power dancing in front of an eager crowd. Johnny created flames out of his fingers, while Bobby created snowballs and extinguished the flames. The girls were fawning over them -- and they loved it. One of the club's owners, Steve, encouraged it. He didn't care about the power use. He loved it. He even challenged them to fight in the club, although the two heroes refused because the fight could hurt somebody in such a crowded nightclub.

"I gotta go Johnny." Bobby said looking at his watch, "The professor would be worried about us."

Johnny looked at his watch too, "Me too. Sue will start to worry about me. Later."

Hank looked around for his teammates. He was getting tired and drunk. They had been at the club for several hours, and he hadn't seen any signs of his comrades. Suddenly he spied Bobby and Warren in the crowd. He greeted, "How was your stay in this place?"

"I met up with a beautiful woman and she saw my wings. She loved it! She was so stoned at the time she thought that the wings were an illusion."

"I met Johnny Storm of the Fantastic Four! We laughed and played with our powers. Steve wanted us to do a show, but we refused."

Hank asked, "Steve who?"

"Steve Lobel."

In the crowd, Warren's keen sight noticed Jean. "I saw Jean! And she's talking to that shy blonde."

Jean sensed her friends' approach and turned to Scott. She said, "Warren saw me. You better leave. Here's some money. Get some pants."

Scott took the money and nodded. "I'll get some clothes at one of those thrift shops. I'll see you at the mansion. Please don't tell anyone."

"I won't." Jean said, her green eyes sparkling with humor. "Who would believe me anyway?"

Several years later...

"I can't believe that you forgot those pictures after all these years!" Warren exclaimed.

Bobby shrugged. "I lost the camera. But now ... here are the pictures. Scared?"

Hank said, "I barely remember that night. What about you, Jean?"

Jean smiled secretly, "I had an ... interesting night."


"I wasn't there. Remember?"

Warren apologized, "Sorry, I forgot. You wouldn't like it. It was so bizarre."

Bobby took out the box, "Ta da. Studio 54 memories."

Betsy and the others gathered in the attic, she said, "Wow, what a place. Is that Cher?"

Bobby nodded and showed, "This is the long, long, line to the entrance. This is Johnny Storm surrounded by girls. This is Steve Lobel."

"Who's that?" Rogue asked and pointed to another picture.

"Some mysterious blonde I met. She didn't say a word and wore the most outrageous sunglasses." Bobby explained.

Warren and Hank grinned, Warren said, "I remember her. She was so beautiful." Betsy glared at him. He said, "But that was way before I met you."

Rogue took a closer look at the picture, "That looks like a man."

Hank snatched the picture away, "Let me see that." He examined the picture, "Hmmm, perhaps you were correct Rogue."

Betsy snickered, "You three were flirting with a man in a dress?"

Bobby defended himself; "It was dark in there. And besides, I was drunk."

"Us too." Warren and Hank said in agreement.

"But, Hank." Ororo said, "You are a scientist and you couldn't tell a woman from a man in a dress?"

"I was a drunken youth at the time." He paled and said, "Oh no. I remember wrapping my legs around her ... um his chest."

Everyone looked at him with shock.

Rogue noticed a metal box with a welded lid.

She asked, "What's this?" She ripped open the lid to reveal a blonde wig, a pair of outrageous sunglasses, and several slips of paper. Scott blanched as she read, "For a good time call Bobby Drake?"

Warren, Hank, and Bobby looked in and gasped. Only Hank could find his voice at first: "Oh my stars and garters."

They all looked at a blushing Scott Summers. Bobby asked the inevitable question. "Where were you at the night of Studio 54?"

The end

In case you were wondering who are the guest stars here they are:
Steve Rogers: Captain America, Clint: Hawkeye