"All Creatures Great and Small"
"Babes in Smallville"
"The Ballad of Trish and Henry"
"Bobby and Hank say 'Farewell, New York' and Other Things"
"Bobby and the Beast"
"Bobby's Casserole"
"Bobby vs. Pat Sajak"
"A Certain Face"
"Confounded Computer!"
"A Day at the Races"
"A Day in the Life"
"Dispensing the Shopping"
"The Early X-Men in Studio 54"
"First, Do No Harm"
"For Remembrance"
"From the Dais with the Closed Coffin"
"The Good of the Many"
"Gunslinger Dreams"
"Heard No More"
"A Homely Touch"
"I Do Not Love Thee, Mr. Twinkie"
"The Lecture"
"Longest Night"
"Love Is Just Another 4-Letter Word"
"Magic Breakfast"
"Making the Call"
"Midnight Twinkie Run"
"Miss April's Stars & Garters"
"The Morning Paper"
"Neon Hearts"
"The No Story"
"Not a Creature Was Stirring"
"The Oath"
"Personal Delivery"
"Point Blank"
"The Power-Whup Girls"
"The Price of Coffee"
"Pygmalion's Silence"
"Rumble in Kitchen Stadium"
"The Shadow Inside"
"The Shi'ar Coffee Story"
"Shoot Me"
"A Friend, Sleeping"
"A Small Addiction"
"Some Assembly Required"
"Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Someone Blue"
"Start Spreading the News"
"Such Sweet Sorrow"
"Tale of the Last Twinkie"
"Never Mess with a Furry Blue Genius"
"The TD2001"
"Tear Sheets"
"A Test of Power"
"Tripping into the Light Fantastic"
"Twenty First Century Guy"
"When in Rome"
"When Tomorrow Comes"
"Written from Purgatory"
"The Wyoming Pie"
"X-Men #75"
"Yummy Yellow White Surprise"
"Zero Degree Celsius"

Tripping into the Light Fantastic

"Come on, Hank.."

"We're not letting you get out of this, Blue..."

"Chicken, bak bak bak!"

Hank sighed and looked around the living room. His *ahem* friends where currently taking far to much enjoyment at his obvious discomfort. He would have to get each of them back for this at a later date.

"All right, I can see I am outnumbered, and obviously none of my *ahem* friends wish to valiantly defend me against these verbal iniquities. I shall recant the tale of my trademark expression for all of your enjoyment, and my apparent embarrassment shall only add to your jovial mood, I'm sure."

"Did he just say he'd tell us or not? Ow! Hey, watch those ninja elbows, Bets- I'm gonna think you're flirting"

"Not even in your dreams, Gator bait."

"You wound me, cher."

"Don't tempt me."

"Do you wish to continue the usual round of verbal warfare, thus sparing me from this most uncomfortable of tale telling experiences?"

"Go on Blue, I'll keep these kids in line."

"Forgive me if I do not offer heartfelt thanks, my Canadian friend."

"Understood, go on with the story before I loose my patience and 'hafta hurt someone."

"*ahem* All right, this tale begins when I was but a senior in high school..."

It was a good day. Scratch that, it was an exceptionally good day. Hank had not only aced a particularly difficult physics exam, but had received a heartfelt hug from Troy, for helping her study for this exam (thus ensuring her high marks as well). Troy Jones, quite possibly the most exceptional lady Hank had ever had the pleasure of knowing, gave him reason to look forward to school more than ever before. Through some cosmic blessing she was in every class Hank was. Troy was very bright, she would have to be in order to attend the accelerated learning classes. She was also 13 years old, while Hank had just turned 17. Because she was a bit young for his comfort, he had never expressed his obvious feelings for her. He was happy just talking with her, going on walks, and doing other "best friend" activities. Perhaps in a few years...

"Hank, you never told me about Troy! Hello, I'm only your best bud in the whole world. If you think she's the best thing since petri dishes- why haven't you told me about her before?"

"Do you wish me to give a dissertation on my reasons for not alerting you to her existence, or continue with the story?"

"Um, considering everyone's looking at me like they wanna turn me into little bitty ice chips- I'll take Continue The Story for $200 Alex!"

"Where was I, ah yes..."

Troy was an exceptional visage to Hank. Actually, you would have to be blind not to notice her. Her hair was the most vivid cranberry color you could imagine, it had a technicolor look to it, like it was too intense to be real. What was even more exceptional was that it was her natural color. She had not been born with it, nor was she a mutant. For her twelfth birthday, she had received a large chemistry set from her parents. During one of her many experiments with odd chemical combinations, she accidentally mixed five chemicals in the wrong way. The result was an explosion of cranberry colored smoke and steam which gave her a new permanent hair color and a light concussion.

"Mon ami, sounds like you two have a lot in common. *snicker*"


"Sorry, Gambit shut up 'fore Logan hurt him."

"As I was saying..."

Her eyes were a deep amethyst color. Quite striking, really. The only person that is a relative comparison is Elizabeth Taylor, but Troy's eyes were even deeper in hue. Her rather masculine name was the result of her parents expecting a boy. Her father was to stubborn to give up naming her after him by the time they learned their baby was a double x chromosome. She had the most beautiful pale skin, almost flawless...

"Boy Hank, you must have really fallen hard for her..."

"Yes Scott, I was quite smitten. Although I haven't seen her since high school, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her."

"Sugah, that is so sweet! I never knew you were such a romantic at heart."

"*blush* Yes, um, well- oh, the rest of the story..."

Well, the day was going extremely well, and Hank was looking forward to enjoying lunch outside with Troy. He was about six feet away from her, she was closing her locker. She was wearing a silk shirt that was airbrushed to look as though it had shattered stain glass murals all over it. She wore a silk gypsy skirt the color of deep red wine, and suede elven styled boots of the same color. Hank was completely engrossed by this enchanting vision before him, and did not notice the football team's running back smirk and place his leg out to trip him. Caught off guard, Hank attempted to twist and roll onto his feet. Unfortunately, between his emotional state and the newly waxed floors, he only managed to go sliding back first down the hall. He opened his eyes and realized his back was on the floor, and the most unbelievable sight was before him. As he looked up; two pale, shapely legs stretched above him. "Oh my, I've slid down the hall and ended up under Troy's skirt" he thought. She was wearing a beautiful pair of red wine colored thigh high stockings, along with a navy lace garter that had the tiniest gold moons and stars printed on it. And all he could think to say was... "Oh my, stars and garters!"

After his *ahem* friends recovered from laughing at the thought of Hank in such a uncomfortable, or rather TOO comfortable situation, the barrage of questions started.

"No, I never told her how I felt about her. Although she assured me there was no hard feelings about the incident, I was very embarrassed around her. My feelings had grown quite strong, and to be honest, I was just too attracted to her to remain friends. We parted on good terms, and I never saw her again after high school."

"Ah, unrequited love, a most bittersweet experience."

"It ain't fun to go through, Elf, it's nothin' but a pain in the ass."

"Gee, that's romantic Logan."

"Just tellin' it like it is, darlin'."

*knock knock*

"Well, since I am the closest to the door, I shall go see who it is and return post haste."

"You do that, Blue, I'm gonna go get a beer."

Hank opened the door, and in a genuine state of shock exclaimed- "Oh my stars and garters!"

"Glad to see you remember me, Hank." Troy said with a smile.

This was indeed turning out to be a exceptionally good day...

How will Hank handle Troy's sudden appearance? Why is Troy there? How will the X-men handle Troy (a normal human) being in the house? And most importantly, will Troy and Hank get it on? For the answer to these questions and more, e-mail me at bluisland@myweb.net. If there is enough response, this might turn into an e-novel.

Copyright 2000 Fossicker Jones