Down-Home Charm Photo Album Songbank Fan-Fiction History Books Fan Art Miscellania Links


The Comics Code
Field Trip to Mississippi
Marvel Writers & Artists
Origami Rogue

My X-Men #81 Rant
UXM #359: It Takes a Mother's Touch
The Original Script of Uncanny X-Men #359

Rogue Defined
Rogue's Hair
X-Men as Morality Play

The Fan-Fic Drinking Game
Pros and Cons of Marrying an X-Man
Things We'd Like to See in X-Men
Top 10 Reasons Not to Marry an X-Man
What I Learned from Reading the X-Books
Top 15 Signs You Read Too Many Comic Books
You Know You Read/Write Too Much Fan-Fiction When...

The Invitation

What I Learned from
Reading the X-Books

During a sabbatical or vacation, always plan on meeting another mutant.

Think carefully about which homicidal psycho you're going to befriend.

With poor writers come great power ups.

If you don't like the world you're living in go find a new one.

Sometimes you SHOULD listen to your mom and just be a doctor.

Love hurts. Sometimes it even tries to kill you.

With great power comes great destruction. And high insurance rates.

Living away from the general populace will not endear you to said populace.

Don't talk about you're going to do. Just send a telepathic signal.

Don't keep your friends too close. They'll probably be forced to turn on you.

Weird hair colors may be sexy, but it's a sign of danger.

Keep your assets in several accounts, in case of court orders.

Have more than one skill.

Question authority.

Make friends with aliens. You get GREAT benefits.

Do not have a long-term relationship with an alien.

Learn astronomy. Well. You never know when you might need it.

Have a good fashion sense. Know how to color coordinate.

If you're going to have roommates, remember that their enemies are now your enemies.

Make friends with a good doctor.

If you must have pet, chose a cat. You never know when you'll be gone for a while.

If all your relatives are good guys, then you're probably a bad guy.

If all your relatives are bad guys, then you are probably a good guy.

People who look after children always have a secret agenda, and it usually involves world conquest.

Never badmouth Wolverine to a total stranger, as s/he probably owes him a Debt of Honour.

People who dye their hair are much easier to possess.

If you meet up with an old friend then they will almost certainly be alien simulacra, embittered failures bent on your downfall, or evil twins from artificial alternate dimensions generated by time anomalies.

If it smiles when you turn your back, kill it.
...especially if it's drawn by Marc Silvestri.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do yesterday.

Most medical staff - especially nurses - are being mind controlled. Unless they happen to have a goatee, in which case they are Mr Sinister.

Don't go to Dallas.

Don't go to Australia.

If you have a stupid, meaningless codename, then you have to carry a gun.

You can't improve the present by going back in time; you only mess things up more.

Gambit's past was more interesting when it was a secret.

Never borrow plots from Highlander.

Never have a crossover with Star Trek.

The Shi'ar empire is irredeemably evil, but they have better PR than the Skrulls.

Villains with amnesia are forgiven all their crimes.

Dazzler should have stuck to her career as a singer.

Mutants are not hated and feared if they join the Avengers.

The Age of Apocalypse: Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to bring any characters back with me.

If the X-men can beat Darkseid, anyone can.

If your hair is red, you will face moral dilemmas.

If the artist doesn't like you, you die.

Even the most feral and brutal madman can become a strong-willed, upstanding, highly moral and stalwart chap.

If the book is named after you, you will win or at least survive every fight.

If you don't survive a fight/adventure, there's always another retcon that will save you.

There is a clear and immediately evident difference between mutants and other superbeings that makes ordinary folks fear the one and cheer the other.

Claws that will cut anything like butter can be used to climb walls.

The operation of any alien machine is a simple and obvious procedure.

Hundreds if not thousands of oft-grotesque mutants can live under the streets of New York without drawing attention.

If you are paralyzed, it is not a good idea to park your wheelchair at the water's edge when the tide is going out.

A good way to get attention is by joining a violent, psychotic cult.
...or the Brotherhood.

You have more relatives than you think you do.

Once you have power you don't have to worry about the essentials like paying rent, bills, etc.

With great power comes great hair.

Sometimes the one you love is not in their right mind. Or rather the mind isn't in the right body.

Spandex is heavy-duty general use cloth.

You can never have too many sub basement levels in your new home.

A friend today could be an enemy tomorrow and a friend again the day after that. Maybe.

Don't date those you work with.
Those you date outside of work might not understand your job.
Sometimes you just shouldn't date.

He who laughs last dies two panels later.

A second heart is a handy thing to have.

A semi-sentient techno-organic slug in the hand is worth two in the mini series.

If it happened in the mini-series, it never happened.

Be nice.
Whatever happens, be nice.
Always, be nice.
...until its time to not be nice
... then you extrude adamantium and take a fast train to claw city.

If you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't, then you might as well angst about it.

If you don't see the body, run it through a thorough DNA analysis, and chop it up into little tiny bits, then they aren't really dead.

People with full body fur should have at least one friend who's a plumber.

Good help is hard to find, but easy to clone.

Smith & Wesson beats a straight flush, but a kinetically charged boysenberry pie beats a plasma rifle every time.

The world is only at risk between June and September. The rest of the time, it's just a little messed up.

All aliens speak English.

Regardless of genetic incompatibility, aliens and humans can procreate.
Such children will have powers, really great hair, and neat spaceships.

'Bamf' is a real sound.

No one, ever, ever, _just_ plays poker.

Beware redheads.

A mind is a terrible thing to scan.

You can't change the past, but that doesn't mean you should stop trying.

The future stinks, no matter who rules -- try living in the past.

Clone your wife for your brother -- but make sure you marry the original!

If you're going to be a criminal and want forgiveness, be older, majestic and tortured, NOT young, smarmy and cocky.

Cherish childhood, it goes by quickly -- sometimes in a matter of seconds.

Nobody is so evil that they can't become good.
And nobody is so good that they can't become evil.
Cycle and repeat.

Promote diversity and harmony through costumes, secret identities and living in seclusion with your own kind.

Never program heavily armed killer robots with "modify your own motives" routines. And include an off-switch.

New York is where the action is.
All the action.
Every last bit.

Your real parents abandoned you. That's why you're evil.

Blue eyes aren't just for Caucasians anymore.

Working out is for the suckers who are unlucky enough to not have the X-Factor, which carries with it a virtual across-the-board guarantee your body fat will be below 3% and you will bear a striking resemblance to either Mr. Universe or Barbie.


Down-Home Charm / Fan-Fiction / Fan Artwork / History Books / Photo Album / Songbank / Miscellania / Links / Updates

Legalese: Rogue, the X-Men, and the distinctive likenesses thereof are Trademarks of Marvel Characters, Inc. and are used without permission. This is an unofficial fansite, and is not sponsored, licensed or approved by Marvel Comics.
Privacy Policy and Submission Guidelines